Beauty

A little over a week ago my blog friend Sarah Markley asked her readers to write what beauty meant to them.

I'm going to propose a project for you all: Write a blog post about beauty. Your thoughts, your pain, your triumphs. It can be outer beauty, inner beauty, what you hate, what you love. Anything. Be creative. It can even be a single photo.

So here goes.

When I think of the word beauty, I think of people I love, people I admire. Beauty to me isn't about outer beauty, beauty is about the inside. The world views beauty as what's on the outside, what size you are, if you're make-up is on right, what you wear, etc. But they've got it all wrong. I think the outside is defined more by the word pretty but not beauty. Beauty is the whole package, both inside and out.

Beauty shines forth from someone by how they treat you, how they treat others, what they say.

Beauty is something that flows from the abundance of your heart. From the overflow of His spirit inside of you.

1 Peter 3:3-4

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

Our culture has made beauty out to be something so vain, something that is to be attained by starving yourself to look like the models, by getting plastic surgery to "fix" your percieved flaws. The enemy has manipulated us to think that if we don't look a certain way then we are ugly, rejected, not beautiful.

But that is nothing more than a lie. We were created from His image. He created us in the womb, decided every feature we would have, designed us perfectly for His pleasure. He made us beautiful both inside and out. He made you special, He made you unique, He chose every feature about you, He places gifts and talents inside of you. None of us were created as an accident, You were created with purpose.

Women around the world have been lied to, have been made to hate their bodies, hate what they see in the mirror. Cutting, bulemia, anorexia, perversion, sexual sin are all examples of what happens when we believe the lies of the world.

I fell prey to the voices of others telling me I was too fat, I wasn't enough, I wasn't pretty but it wasn't until I heard His words tell me otherwise that I became free. He told me, "You are beautiful, I chose you, I love you, I am delighted in you, I created you, You are enough." His words are what shape my world now.

Inner beauty is unfading, it is not changed by the outward. It is not swayed by how we feel. Beauty is the single mother who sacrifices everything for her children. Beauty is the daughter who prays for her unsaved family. Beauty is the people who save the victims of human-trafficking and remind them that they are beautiful, worthy, and loved by Jesus. Beauty is an action not just a description.

Royalty

Royalty - the rank, status, power or authority of a monarch; people of royal rank, plus their families.

When one thinks of royalty images of kings, queens, knights and princess' come to mind. Someone who is of high status, very wealthy, enjoys the finer things in life, is taken care of, but also someone who has great authority, makes decisions that impact multitudes, public figures. Kings and queens are not treated like "common people", they don't marry just anyone, they are heavily guarded and protected. They're treated differently.

You and I as sons and daughters of the most high God are royalty. We may live in the world but we are not of the world. We can't act like the world does, we don't date like the world dates, we don't speak like the world speaks, we are set apart.

Tonight as I spoke to a very dear girlfriend of mine we talked about dating and how it's different for children of God. She was very freaked out at the thought of dating and thought she was maybe just acting crazy. But in that moment the Lord reminded me that no, she wasn't freaking out but that we are His children, we are daughters of the most high God. You aren't just anybody, you are His precious daughter and He heavily guards you and protects you.

2 Corinthians 6:18 says:
"I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters."

Furthermore, 2 Corinthians 6:14 says:
"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?

We need to always be reminded of who's we are, children of God. And as a child of God you have status, power and authority...you are royalty. This is not so that we may boast that we are better than anyone because we are all His children. But so that you will never sell yourself short, you will never settle or anything less than His best for you.

1 Peter 2:9
"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness and into his wonderful light."

Jesus,

Thank you that you watch over me, that you guard me and that you chose me to be your precious daughter. I love you daddy.

Love,
Michelle Nicole.

Relationships are a Gift

Relationships are a gift from God. The friends He surrounds you with that help you get through the rough times. The family He gives you to be born into that loves you unconditionally, although they can work your nerves at times, family is what we call "home", its the people that truly know you and love you in spite of you. The man or woman He places in your life as your partner to do life with, as your helper, as His reflection of himself in that person towards you and vice versa. All of these relationships are a gift from God.

When someone you love gives you a gift what do you do with it. Do you tear the wrapping to shreds, not even reading the card but just opening the gift and then discard it as if though it doesn't matter? Do you forget to say thank you? No, you open it with excitement, gently, opening the card first because you know that person who loves you and gave it to you put a lot of thought into what to say in that card, you say thank you and are genuinly grateful for the gift, you treasure it, you put it on display and take care of it.

When God, the creator of the universe, the father of all creation, the lover of your soul blesses you with a relationship it is His gift to you. A gift that we are to treasure, handle with care and are ever thankful for.

Am I writing this because I'm such an expert at this... no not at all. By no means am I an expert at relationships but by His grace He is teaching me. Because left to my own actions I truly suck at relationships.

About two years ago the Lord blessed me with an amazing relationship. But the story doesn't start there. God had been working on both of us seperately for some time before presenting us to eachother. In the years leading up to that, God had saved us, He had changed us, molded us and prepared us for this moment. This relationship wasn't one that was birthed out of a drunken night of partying and exchanging phone numbers. It was one that was birthed out of a friendship, a love for Jesus, lots of prayer and His perfect timing.

When God brings that special person into your life, it's not a coincidence, it's His working, it's a masterpiece that He has created especially for you. Because you see that person is His child, His baby and He is entrusting that person to you. That person is a gift to you. A gift that is to be handled with care, with respect, with love and with an attitude of gratefullness.

So many times I have wondered if I could go back in time would I have done it all over again. Would I have changed anything? In the begining I thought no, definitely not, that was so much heartache and pain but now after having time to think about it and having Him deal with my heart I would definitely do it all over again. But would I change things? Yes, most definitely yes. Would I change him? No. I would have changed the way I viewed the relationship. Because in the begining yes I saw it as this beautiful gift but somewhere in the middle I lost sight of that and therefore stopped handling it with care. We both did.

A relationship, one created by God can be equated to fine dining at an upscale restaurant. You can't show up for dinner whenever you want, it's not open 24 hours, they usually have specific hours of operation, and usually require a reservation. They require you to dress up, you can't just show up in whatever you want. They use fresh, nutritious ingredients not some mystery meat and grease fried everything. There is a huge difference between McDonald's and Ruth Chris Steakhouse. Huge difference. With Ruth Chris you have a little more respect for the establishment, you adhere to their standards but are left feeling as if though it was so incredibly worth it. Where as with McDonald's you treat it just like it is, fast food. You don't dress up, you don't make reservations, you can have it whenever you want and usually although it may taste good (at times lol) it definitely never leaves you feeling as if though it was worth it.

That's how relationships are. If you treat your relationship like McDonald's you show up however you feel, you don't have an awe, respect or appretiation for the amazing gift that God has blessed you with. You take the person for granted. McDonald's are usually open 24 hours but Ruth Chris is not. So when planning to go to dinner for either, one will require you to make better use of your time if you plan on arriving before it closes where as the other you can show up whenever you feel like it. Do you really treasure the time you spend with that person that God has blessed you with or do you view it as eh whatever, I'll call him/her when I feel like it, I will hang out with them when I feel like it, I've got things to do, they can wait. Or do you value that person, do you make them a priority, do you spend time with them.

What about the nutritional value of each? While McDonald's may seem tasty and super yummy at first, it will leave you feeling gross afterwards. And if you have it everyday it will cause you to gain weight, have serious health issues and leave you feeling worse than you started out. In a relationship when you compromise the boundaries that God has put, when you don't respect His design for a relationship, when you have sex outside of marriage it leaves you feeling just like McDonald's does. At first it feels amazing but in the end it leaves you feeling empty, gross and feeling like a complete failure. Yet if you have Ruth Chris everyday the ingredients will be fresh, healthy and organic, therefore adding nutrients to your body, making you feel stronger. A relationship that is fed by His love, His guidance, and a genuine care for eachother will leave you feeling stronger and better than you ever have before.

Doing a relationship the right way is difficult, it requires discipline, denying the flesh but it's also so incredibly do-able and worth it.
"And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." 1 Corinthians 10:13

When that time comes, remember to treat it as the precious gift that it is. He has put a lot of work into prepairing the both of you. And always have a heart of thanksgiving and appreciation for the amazing responsiblity He has entrusted to you.


Jesus,

Forgive me for not treating the amazing gift that you placed in my life with the respect and appreciation that it deserved. Forgive me for failing you. He was amazing. I'm sorry.

Love,
Michelle Nicole.

Impossible

Lyrics from Desert Song by Hillsong United

"I will rejoice, I will declare. God is my victory and He is here."

Jesus,

You are my everpresent help in time of need. Your word says that You stick closer than a brother, that You never leave us or forsake us. You are always there. If we knock, You answer. Even when we fail You, You never give up.

Thank you for surrounding me and loving me in every season of my life. I have never known a love as deep as Yours, as forgiving as Yours, as patient as Yours. You are my everything.

You have captured my heart.

This year has been so different from all 26 years of my life. This year I feel free, I feel whole, I feel complete. And that's all because of You. Once You stilled me, once You seperated me from those around me, once You had my complete attention...I heard Your voice. I heard You tell me things my heart so desperately desired to hear.

"Michelle you are enough. And I love you."

For so long I had strived to be what everyone else wanted me to be and yet I had never felt like I was enough. But that was because I hadn't stopped to hear my daddy tell me, "baby, you are enough".

But now that I have, and now that I get to hear it everyday I feel as if though not even the sky is the limit on what I can do.

I operate out of wholeness, out of completeness and that feels so good.

This year has started out amazing! The opportunities that You have opened up for me, the blessings that You have poured into my life have been surreal. If someone would have told me last year that in just a few months I would be here I wouldn't have believed it. But that's the kind of daddy I have, He makes the impossible, POSSIBLE.

There is nothing too big for You, especially when it comes to me, Your baby :) I love you!

I have victory because You are here.

Amen.

Michelle Nicole.

Girlfriends

Jesus,

During this season of my life I have had this insatiable desire to surround myself with girlfriends. It's as if though I can't get enough, I want more and more and more girlfriends.

This is definitely something new to me, something that has not been the norm in the past. I've never been the kind of girl who has a lot of girlfriends, it's usually only been a handful of girls and that's it. In high school I always had a lot more guy friends than girls. And then in my early to mid twenties that changed to having just a core small group of girlfriends but nothing more. My reasoning for not having many girlfriends was always that they were too much drama, and or that they were competition.

In a relationship I was in I remember actually hating girls for a while because they were like "competition". It was as if there was a "new girl" brought into the mix then I would think, "great now that's another person who will probably have more of my boyfriends' attention than me", it was an awful awful time in my life. A time where I had very low self-confidence, a time where I felt less than, as if I was always second best.

And then fast-forward to now and it's as if though everything has been completely changed around. You have restored me, restored my self-worth, my self-confidence and really helped me to blossom into the girly girl that You created me to be. I celebrate my girliness now and the joy that is overflowing of my heart I am able to celebrate the wonderful, amazing girls around me.

Seriously in the past 3 weeks I have hung out with more girlfriends than ever before and my schedule is jam-packed with my girlfriend dates in the weeks and months to come. I have literally made friends with girls online, through blogs, in church, at work, even with girls that at one point I thought I disliked. It's amazing!

What I love most about girls is how we are emotional. And not in a dramatic, crazy crying way but in a way that we can relate to those who we love. When girlfriends come together they share in eachothers excitement, they weep in eachothers loss, they encourage eachother in their goals and trials, they laugh with you when you act silly, then get their hands dirty and help when one has made a mess of their lives, they push you to reach your goals, they pray for you and speak hope when you feel hopeless. Girlfriends relate to you and make you feel as if though you are not alone. We all go through seasons of life and those seasons are so much more enjoyable with a girlfriend by your side.

It's just as the scripture in Ecclesiastes 4:8-12 says:

"I turned my head and saw yet another wisp of smoke on its way to nothingness: a solitary person, completely alone—no children, no family, no friends—yet working obsessively late into the night, compulsively greedy for more and more, never bothering to ask, "Why am I working like a dog, never having any fun? And who cares?" More smoke. A bad business. It's better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth. And if one falls down, the other helps, But if there's no one to help, tough! Two in a bed warm each other. Alone, you shiver all night. By yourself you're unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst. Can you round up a third? A three-stranded rope isn't easily snapped."

I love that scripture in reference to friendship. It basically is saying when you're alone without friends life feels meaningless. If your down there's no one to help you up. But when you have friends they will share the work (tough trials in life), share the wealth (delight in your success, be excited when you're excited). Then I like to think the next line where it says "two in a bed warm each other" refers to slumber parties. As young girls we love having slumber parties/sleepovers. I remember many birthday parties becoming all night slumber parties where we would watch chick flicks, eat chocolate and talk about boys. And now as a grown woman I still love love love slumber parties. Being piled in a bed with your closest girlfriends and whispering funny stories in the dark, geeking out is still one of my favorite things to do.

As women, You created us to be relational. We relate to those around us whereas boys were made to be "fixers". They don't want to relate to you they just want to fix it and move on. So many times in past relationship I would get so frustrated because I would want my boyfriend to relate to me, hear the cry of my heart, be excited about my new girly outfit or ring purchase instead of being like "oh cool, whatever". But looking back on it now I realize I was trying to fit my "boyfriend" into a box that only a "girlfriend" could fill. You made us differnt Jesus. And I'm so thankful You did.

Boys are awesome in their own right but girls are amazing. They are compassionate, they are sensitive to God, they weep in worship, they pray heaven down for the ones they love. Jesus, thank you for surrounding me with girlfriends. Thank you for making me girly. Thank you that this season of my life, living whole and complete I am able to pour out into my girlfriends and in turn feel more fulfilled than I ever have felt in my entire life.

Bring more and more and more girlfriends into my life this year than ever before Jesus. Allow me to see them all through Your eyes, to encourage them, to love them and to laugh with them.

Proverbs 17:22 "A cheerful heart is good medicine". I completely agree. The joy that has come into my life through the women You have placed in my heart Lord has done my heart good. I am happier than I ever have been.

I love you daddy! Thank you.

Love,

Michelle Nicole

Marriage

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Genesis 2:24

Jesus,

Today as I was praying during service I thought about exactly that...becoming one flesh, becoming one person. Become one flesh means so much more than what would normally come to someone's mind. Becoming one flesh to me means, that you and your spouse have become one so much so that you feel what they feel, you know when their happy, sad, scared, nervous, worried, or excited without even having to talk to them. It's like this inner knowing, why, because you have become one. You feel what the other feels. You pray for eachother, the rejoice with them when something great happens, you cry with them when something tragic happens, you pray with them...well, always. It's as if you are one person. On the same page. Marriage is beautiful in that you always have someone who is there beside you and is on your team. You are a team, especially when raising children together. You are one.

So tonight as I was reflecting on this, I thought of You. Jesus, I want to be one with You. I want to feel what you feel. I want to get excited about the things that You get excited about. I want to have a burden for what You have a burden for, what breaks Your heart I want to also break mine. That I would be so sensitive to You that I am always exactly where I need to be, doing exactly what You need me to do. That we would be one.

Jesus, I give you permission to take over. Take over my emotions, my plans, my schedule, my life, my dreams, my career, my family, everything. I join my thoughts, desires, hopes, dreams to Yours. It's not just me anymore, it's US. Me and You. Michelle Nicole + Jesus.

And when You bring my husband and I together in marriage it will be You + Me + my husband. And we will become one flesh.

I love you.

Amen.
Michelle Nicole

Do the right thing

"And as for you, brothers, never tire of doing what is right." - 2 Thessalonians 3:13

Jesus,

For so long I didn't always do the right thing. More often then not I did what was easy, what was convenient, what felt good to my flesh. And after a while it's as if I didn't know how to do the "right" thing anymore. It felt impossible. I would be good for a while, 2 weeks maybe 3 and then mess up again. But it was that kind of thinking that in the end ended up costing me a lot. It cost me my relationship, it cost me my joy, it cost my my peace... it cost me everything.

When I was in high school making the wrong choices, cost me to have an unplanned pregnancy at 17. Then the abortion I had to "fix" it, cost me years of guilt, shame and heavy drug addiction. And all why....because I got tired of doing the right thing.

Then later on in my mid twenties, it cost me my relationship. What started out so pure, so innocent, what was birthed in prayer then fell to pieces, why....because we got tired of doing the right thing.

I have read countless blogs about spouses who have grown tired of doing the right thing and it has led them to affairs, deceit, shame, and a lot of pain.

So many times I had heard that couples who have sex before marriage increase their odds of divorce by something like 50%. I used to wonder how in the world that was possible but now I understand. Just because you stand in front of a whole lot of people, recite vows and put on a ring doesn't mean you instantly are a new person. It's not like you go from being the person who does what's convenient (having sex before marriage) to then all of a sudden by magic become the person who does the right thing. The person who doesn't want to feed their flesh. Sure, now you wouldn't be having sex outside of marriage but then maybe that becomes something like a shopping addiction, not being able to say no to that new shirt or tie or whatever. Or maybe it turns into a porn addiction that begins while your spouse is out of town. Or worse, a full blown affair.

Jesus, I think you put this verse to remind us, that yeah even though it isn't always easy, never tire of doing the right thing...in all aspects of your life. There are so many times that I wonder, had I made the decision to not tire of doing the right thing, maybe I would be somewhere else right now. I wouldn't have had to suffer through an abortion, drug addiction....and maybe just maybe I would be married to the man of my dreams.

But my God isn't a God who stops, or gives up on me because I made a wrong choice. No, He is the God of restoration. Jesus, help me to be strong and to not tire of doing the right thing. There are times now in my life where I think to myself, maybe I should do this, or maybe I should do that because that would make "this moment" or "this season" go by a lot easier. But then where does that lead me, back to square one.

And just like how it is in grade school, you can't pass from one grade to the next until you have passed the courses. You can't go from 9th to 10th grade if you failed all your classes.

Jesus, I don't want to fail you this season. I am different. I am new. I am restored. And with you I can do all things. And then maybe, just maybe, the desires of my heart for my life, the prayers that I have prayed will come true.

Right now I'm not a mom, but one day I will be and I want to teach my children about having self-control, about being patient and never tiring of doing the right thing. No matter how many around them are doing the wrong things, they won't be children that succumb to peer pressure. No, they will be the ones that stand up and do what is right.

Lord, no matter how difficult this season is don't let me tire of doing right. Give me wisdom. Help me to wait on you Jesus. Delayed gratification defined is the ability to wait in order to obtain something that one wants.

I read about an experiment that was done to prove this exact point:
The marshmallow experiment is a well known test of this concept conducted by Walter Mischel at Stanford University and discussed by Goleman in his popular work. In the 1960s, a group of four-year-olds were given a marshmallow and promised another, only if they could wait 20 minutes before eating the first one. Some children could wait and others could not. The researchers then followed the progress of each child into adolescence and demonstrated that those with the ability to wait were better adjusted and more dependable (determined via surveys of their parents and teachers), and scored an average of 210 points higher on the Scholastic Aptitude Test years later.

God, you have placed a lot on my shoulders. One day I will have a leadership school, I will speak to the nations, I will influence youth and guide them, I will be a wife, I will be a mother. These roles are connected to multitudes of people, people who will expect much of me. Mold me into the woman who will not cave under-pressure, into a woman that will never tire of doing what is right.

I want to be a voice of example, a voice that speaks against what is just going with the flow, a voice that will encourage others to turn around and go against the norm, to make a difference. I want to be the wife that can say I waited on God for you, I didn't manipulate my husband to be with me but I waited on God to mold him perfectly for me and me for him. I want to be the mother that can show her children what it is like to wait on God, to trust him, to not take the easy way out, to not walk out but fall down on my knees and trust in God.

Sacrifice isn't easy, it doesn't feel good but the reward is far beyond what you could ever expect or imagine. During this season, I will remember this scripture always. During the rest of my life, I will remember this scripture. Thank you for writing this scripture Jesus, somehow I think you knew I would need it. I love you Jesus.

Amen.
Michelle Nicole