Praising in the storm

"And I will praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For you are who you are
No matter where I am
And every tear I cry
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm"

Lyrics from Praise you in this storm by Casting Crowns

Since the age of 3 I had suffered from chronic migraines. My mom says she remembers me always grabbing my head and crying to her that my head hurt. It was normal for me to get a headache about 4-5 times a week. Yet at the same time what was my normal was not normal. As a child I should not have been getting headaches on the regular. My mom did not have her first headache until she was 25 years old and here I was getting them regularly from the age of 3. As the years went by the intensity of the headaches worsened. And still plagued me until about a week and a half ago.

At the end of July I went to a conference in Dallas and I remember the speaker talking about how God is our healer and how nothing is impossible for him. So that night during worship I cried out to God and begged him to please remove these migraines that had plagued me all my life, and ironically that I had at the moment I was praying for healing. And I got nothing. So I cried out again but this time I was more angry and I said, "God, I'm not leaving this worship gathering until you heal me. I refuse to leave without my healing." And still nothing. And it was at that moment that inside of me I felt, this question, God, how am I going to tell people that you're a healer if you won't even heal me? And when I thought that I broke down crying. I think a few songs went by and all I could do was cry, I couldn't say a word. And about the third song, I looked up and just said, "You know what God, even if you don't heal me, I will still trust you, and I will still tell people that you are a healer, and I will still say that you are God, even if I never get my healing, I know that you are good." And with that I calmed down, the migraine was still there but my heart was set on the fact that God was good regardless and that my healing would come, even if I didn't feel it. So, we left that night back to our hotel room and I remember rubbing my head because it hurt so bad and my mom telling me, "Michelle, don't you have any excedrin?" I literally have taken thousands of excedrin probably in my lifetime, just in the last 3 months I've gone through 2 huge bottles so this question wasn't exactly a weird question to ask because I ALWAYS carried excedrin migraine with me everywhere I went. But that night was different, I replied, "Mom, I'm done taking excedrin, that stuff is so incredibly bad for my stomach lining and I'm trusting that God will heal me." And with that I went to bed.

Now normally if I went to bed with a migraine and didn't take anything it was a 100% sure bet that I was going to wake up and the migraine was still going to be there. But that next morning it was gone. It didn't hurt one bit. And as I took a shower that morning I just remember crying tears of joy and thanking God because I knew he had healed me. No more would I have to deal with migraines, ever again.

Then yesterday came and with it a migraine. And to be honest it is now the next morning and it is still there. I've prayed and I know that God is not a man that he should lie, He healed me a week and a half ago and no matter what symptoms I feel I know that He is still my healer. Even as I type these words I feel the pain in my head but I'm trusting in Him. And I'm not gonna lie and say that the last 24 hours has been easy because it hasn't, I have thought of taking excedrin migraine because I know that it works, it has a million times in the past but I also know that God is my healer and that if his word says that "By His stripes we are healed" then I am healed. So like the song lyrics say, I will praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands for you are who you are no matter where I am. And just like in previous posts I have told many of you to not lose hope and not lose faith as you go through your trials because He is faithful, I will not lose hope and I will not lose faith that He has and will heal my head again.

Psalm 3:3-4,8 "But you are a shield around me, O Lord; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head. To the Lord I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill. From the Lord comes deliverance."