Hopes and Dreams

What are my hopes and dreams? What do I want to achieve? What would make my heart leap with happiness? Right now I don't know.

I watched a movie recently called. Burlesque and it was awesome, hearing Christina Aguilera sing just blows me away. You definitely know that girl was made to sing, its undeniable. Lately anytime I see a movie or hear a story of a person who has achieved their dreams, who is doing what they were made to do, it has made me cry. Not weeping or anything but an authentic happy for them cry yet sad that I don't know what that is for me.

God what was I made to do? What was I created to accomplish? What have you placed inside of me to birth? What destiny or dream do you have for me?

What am I doing? What am I shooting for? Don't get me wrong I really love my job but this desire is beyond just doing a job. This is beyond a title. It's bigger, it's deeper.

God, what do I do? Awaken me, awaken my soul. I love pouring into others, being an encourager but that's not necessarily a dream. For a while I thought maybe I wanted to be a counselor but that doesn't really excite me all that much.

God, I know that you have a purpose and a plan for my life. There is a void that my life was made to fill. What is it?

Over the last year my prayers have been for my future husband and asking God to mold and shape me into a woman that reflects Him. But I seem to have forgotten about my dreams. And in light of that I honestly don't know if I want my husband to come into my life just yet. I want to be doing what God made me to do, I want him to have something to be proud of me about. I want to be doing something that I'm proud of, something that is mine, something that I can point to and say THAT'S what I was made to do. Honestly I want to be happy, not just happy cause everything is going good but a happy that comes from deep down within my heart, within my soul that I am making an impact here on earth and not just taking up space.

God, I'm being vulnerable and honest...I know that there's more to my life. There is a desire, a dream inside of me that isn't being met and my soul is crying out for it. Please open my heart, search it, open my eyes to more.

Psalm 42:6-8
When my soul is in the dumps, I rehearse everything I know of you....deep calls out deep, to the tune of whitewater rapids. Your breaking surf, your thundering breakers crash and crush me. Then God promises to love me all day, sing songs all through the night! My life is God's prayer.

My soul is in the dumps Jesus. Wash over me.

XOXOXO,
Michelle