Day 29

"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, nor harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earning she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the day to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and called her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate." - Proverbs 31: 10-3


Jesus,

The woman described in Proverbs 31 is a woman of character, a woman with confidence, strength, beauty, she is loved, she is hardworking, she loves the Lord and is greatly loved by her family. Lord so many times in my heart I have longed for a family, for a husband, for children but have I ever really longed for the character to maintain my family that I so desire. Tonight as I typed this scripture, I began to have a new prayer. Jesus, I want to be like the Proverbs 31 woman. I want to be a woman of character, a woman that fears the Lord. My life right now consists of one relationship and that is with you Jesus. Please teach me how to be faithful in my words, in my actions, to be consistent and not tossed back and forth by emotion. I want to be a woman so grounded in you that no matter what comes my way I am not thrown off course.

To be a wife is a huge responsibility. It will require everything of me. It will expose my heart for what it really is and when that time comes Jesus I want to be able to stand pure of heart and pure in actions before my husband. Show me how to love, show me where my heart needs cleaning, where the hurts still aren't completely healed, where the bruises of my ego are and help me to allow you to heal them. Heal them with your loving kindness, restore my confidence, restore my purity, my innocence. Give me a heart of a child, a heart that always sees the best in others, a heart that fights for truth, that will not stand for anything less than complete integrity.

Thank you for not answering my prayers for a husband and family before I was ready. Thank you for opening my eyes and shifting my focus. I know that currently I don't always react in the best way. When someone hurts me I'm not always good at turning the other cheek and choosing to see the best in that person. I have made countless mistakes, said words I wish I could take back and for that Lord I ask that you please forgive me. Change my way of thinking Jesus, change the way I react, take control of my emotions. Teach me self -control, how to be disciplined, how to love without ever shutting if off. I should never have to shut-down, I should never have to run-away, that's not how you created me. You taught me on the cross that even when you are persecuted, when you are attacked to always stay positive, forgive, and have compassion. God, begin to mold me into that kind of woman. I am clay in your hands God, and while I know that when we get on the potter's wheel and allow you to begin to change things it's not always comfortable, in the end there's always a masterpiece. I want to be your masterpiece.

I know this is going to cause some changes in the people I surround myself with, Lord begin to move people out and bring others in, people who will push me forward, who will model integrity, humility, forgiveness, compassion. Bring teachers into my life, mentors. I need a make-over from the inside out. I step onto the potter's wheel tonight and ask that you begin a work in me. Prepare me.

Amen.

Love,
Michelle Nicole.