My Race

Have you ever felt like you weren't living to your full potential? My heart has been wrecked for a while with this feeling. God, my heart beats for something bigger than this. Tonight I watched a movie that stirred my heart once again for something more, I watched Secretariat. It's a movie about a woman and her horse who had heart, who pushed through difficult circumstances to make history.

God, what is my race? What is the cause that's bigger than me that I was made to fight for? I am not okay with the status quo. I am not okay with living like everyone else. I am not okay with living SAFE. Not when my heart breaks the way it does for something bigger. I was made to change history, not because of who I am but because of who you made me to be. Because of who You are.

As I type this with tears streaming down my cheeks, my heart aches to know what I'm missing out on. There is a yearning in my heart for something bigger yet I don't know what it is. There's people who know their call from a young age, who fulfill their dreams they were destined to fulfill early in life, God, what is mine?

Do you know what it feels like to have your heart break for something and you don't even know what it's breaking for?

Psalm 139: 13-16
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

God, creator of the universe, maker of heaven and earth, you formed me, you know me. Show me the way I should go. Open my eyes to your plans. Show me what my heart aches for. Release me to live the days that were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Amen.

Michelle Nicole