Expectations

A few weeks ago my pastor spoke about expectations and their ability to set us up for disaster. He was referring to the holidays and how we can sometimes put these extremely high expectations on our family and friends to make sure the holidays go perfectly to plan. And you know what, people are people and things happen and sometimes, most times those high expectations aren't met and that has the ability to put you in a tailspin of emotions if you're not careful. For example you decide you're going to cook Christmas dinner at your house and invite all the family over. You let everyone know what time to show up even though you know your sister and her husband always run late but you think, okay I told them what time to arrive they better be here. And like always they arrive late and that sends you over the edge, you think ugh they always do this, they're so rude, now the food is cold, they're so inconsiderate...my day is ruined. When honestly if you had removed that expectation and thought, today no matter what time everyone arrives, I am blessed to have food to prepare for my family, I am thankful to have a family to spend my holidays with, and if anyone arrives later that's okay they can pull up a seat and join in on the laughter and love shared over our holiday meal.

You have the ability to control your emotions and your expectations far before a situation occurs, so why not set yourself up for success. I remember hearing that sermon and thinking wow, I can apply this to so many various areas of my life, in my friendships, in my dating relationships, etc.

If I had to describe myself I would say that I'm a rare combination of laid-back yet have some type A traits, like wanting to control things and make sure they come out perfect. And wanna know when things turn out perfect, when I'm laid-back and let things happen on their own instead of trying to control everything to the minute detail. In hindsight it's that controlling side that has probably ruined lots of past relationships.

In the area of relationships, I always have this mindset that it's going to be picture perfect and I set up these extremely high expectations yet since the other person doesn't know this they inevitably fail to meet those expectations and unfortunately the relationship ends without me even giving it a chance. It's true what they say, hindsight is truly 20/20. If I could go back in time, there's so much I would do differently but more importantly there's so many changes I will now make moving forward.

This past weekend, my best friend Stacy came in to town to visit me and help me re-decorate my entire room. Initially I had made a plan in my head, okay we're first going to paint, then stencil, then move around the furniture, then go shopping for additional pieces if necessary, etc. I had this long list of to do's and had allotted time for each project in my head so we could make the most of the 24hours we had. Well a few days before she arrived she let me know that she needed to make a small change to the schedule that was going to take up about 5 hours of our time total. Initially, I was freaking out cause I was thinking oh my gosh how are we going to have enough time to do everything. And in the midst of my panic I remembered Pastor Rob's sermon and thought you know what, you can either sit here and freak out or you can think you know what, my best friend who lives in another state is here to spend the weekend with me, everything will work itself out, just take each moment for what it is and enjoy it to the fullest, enjoy laughing and spending time with your friend, the room make-over can be completed any day of the week but your friend is only in town for this weekend. Changing my expectation from everything on my to-do list having to be completed to just enjoy your weekend with your best friend and treasure each moment made a HUGE difference. We had a fantastic weekend and I'm so thankful that it wasn't ruined by my initial desire to want to place unnecessary high expectations.

Life is meant to be lived day by day, moment by moment. Remove those unrealistic expectations and instead expect to be surprised by the small treasures that will be revealed in each moment of everyday.

XOXOXOX,
Michelle