Perfection

I have a confession to make....I am not perfect. I have my shortcomings, I have flaws, I am no where near perfect. And that's okay. For the first time in my life I embrace the fact that I'm not perfect and I absolutely love my life and wouldn't have it any other way.

Perfection is defined as being complete of it's kind and without defect or blemish. Hmm sounds vaguely familiar to this scripture:

1 Peter 1:18-20 "For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last time for your sake."

He is without blemish or defect. He is perfect. I am not. But the one that is perfect lives inside of me. He has made me perfect for the calling He has on my life, He has made my words perfect for those that I will impact on this earth, He has made a perfect time for everything to come to pass in my life, He has made me perfect for my husband. But does that mean I am perfect...not at all. It's only through Him that I am made perfect.

2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

If you are struggling to be perfect, give up now. It takes a whole lot of energy to try and be perfect and I promise you it will only leave you frustrated. Today, let go of perfection and be you. Because He has made you wonderful in and of yourself, stop going against the grain of who He has made you to be, stop trying to fit into what you think is perfect or what others have conditioned you to think is perfect and just be you. I promise you once you are just yourself you will give Him freedom to be made perfect in your weakness. The word says to love others as you love yourself. But you gotta love yourself first. Accept yourself.

Now don't get me wrong, we should always be growing, learning, and being molded more and more into His image. But the key differnce is who's standard are you comparing yourself to, what standard are you striving to meet, His or yours. His or the worlds. His or your parents.

Perfection is like a prison that holds so many people captive. It holds people back. This life is too short to be caged in, too short for you to not shine, too short for you to not be effective, too short for you to live even one more minute captive.

Jesus,

Thank you for breaking down the thoughts that I had let become emblazoned in my heart and head that I had to be "perfect". Thank you for setting me free. Please set the person reading this free. Help them to let go of perfection and instead embrace Your perfection in their weakness. I speak peace over their mind right now in the name of Jesus, I cancel out all negative words that have been spoken over their lives that they've accepted as truth. I pray that Your truth would become their truth. That they would believe what your word says, that they are fearfully and wonderfully made. That they are the head and not the tail. They are more than conquerors. And all this because You gave Your life, without defect or blemish for us all. I love you!

Amen.

Michelle Nicole

God is still God

Josh Lopez sang this song at my church this morning and it wrecked me.

God you are God even when I don't feel you
God you are God even when I don't see you

I will worship
I will worship
I will worship
You are my God

There are dreams and desires that I haven't seen come to pass yet. There are things that I have been praying for for a long time. And if I'm honest, I get frustrated with God sometimes. I get frustrated at myself. I get frustrated at the timeline. But even though I don't see change, even though I feel like I'm standing still when I want to be moving forward, I know that God is in control.

In our darkest hour we can quit. But if I quit, then I won't see the miracle. If I stop running my race I won't ever see the finish line. If I stop praying, if I stop believing, if I turn my back on God, if I give up, if I, if I, if I then I won't see Him and His beautiful plan.

Right now I'm in that valley time in some areas of my life. I'm in that time of waiting. My heart is bursting at the thought of all my dreams coming true. And what's hardest is waiting, when you've seen the greatness of God be done in others and in your life before. God has done some incredible things in my life. He rescued me from drug and alcohol addiction, he turned my life around when I was on a road towards destruction. He's done so much in my life and I know that I know that I know that He hasn't left me now.

So even though I don't see what you're doing God, I will wait upon you. But to be honest even if my dreams and desires don't come for a while....God is still God. I will continue to worship you, I will continue to sing your praise, I will seek you, I will love you, I won't give up.

My hope, my peace, my strength come in knowing that You are in control. Jesus, I rest in you.

xoxo,
Michelle

Community

A few days ago I was at lunch with a very dear friend of mine and I asked him a question, I said what would make you the happiest man in the world right now? And he said, you know what, for so long I ran around thinking I was invincible and that I could do whatever I wanted. I thought, I could be this unattached guy who lived life moment by moment, I could be this fun bachelor for life. Yet on the flip side of that be very selfish and take those around me for granted. But after going through some stuff he realized that what matters most to him and what would make him happy is to have that person in his life that would be his partner for life, that would enjoy the good and the bad in life alongside him. He talked about how much more he treasured those around him, his friends, his family.

Just a day before that I had been driving in my car and had overheard a radio announcer talking about relationships and how our desire to be in relationship with others is something that we are born with, it's not something that is taught. The radio announcer mentioned a study that had been done recently, where they had taken a baby that was 45 minutes old, hadn't even been born an hour and they had a person come up close to the baby and stick their tounge out at the baby. The baby then without hesitation mimicked the person and stuck his tounge out back. That immediate response from the baby backed up the study's conclusion that we as humans have a desire to be in relation with one another, we crave community.

Unfortunately though for many, they have the same mentality as my friend did. I know I did for a period in my life. We as humans need others, we need community, we need relationships in our lives. God made us the way he did for a reason. I am so incredibly indebted to the amazing circle of friends and family that I have. After going through some of the stuff I've gone through and seeing how much they have always had my back, and loved me through the good and the bad I know that I wouldn't be who I am without them.

We all need eachother. Take a look around you, stop everything you're doing and truly love them. Don't take them for granted. Yes it can sound so appealing at times to be the lone ranger, or to distance yourself away from people just enough to not get hurt but that's not a healthy way to live. Put the computer away, put the phone down, turn off the iPod and go love on those who God has blessed you with.

"Friends always show their love. What are brothers for if not to share troubles?"- Proverbs 17:17


Rooting for you!

XOXOXOX,
Michelle

Keep ya head up

"all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:16

Has life been crazy? Are you questioning yourself? Take a deep breath and exhale because it's all gonna be okay. We only have one life to live so don't let things get you down and don't get caught up in the craziness that is life sometimes.

Psalm 139:16 is posted up on my wall and it reminds me that even when I feel like I'm out of place or I'm wondering what about this or that it reminds me that Jesus knows what he's doing, he ordained all the days of my life. He is in control and he wrote an amazing story for my life and for yours. Pastor Earl said an amazing quote recently that said, God is always good, his plans are always good, His final word is always good, so if right now it's not good, it's not God's final word. I recieve that.

Everyday is such a great adventure. Yes I have my days when it feels like nothing is going right but it only takes me changing my perspective to see that you know what, it's all good.

So work might be crazy, you might be fighting with your significant other, you might have gained weight, you might have some questions but remember all your days were ordained by God and he's got you. Keep ya head up, it's gonna be alllll goood baby! lol

As I'm writing this I'm listening to the best song ever, check it out.
Song: Keep ya head up by Andy Grammer

Rooting for you!
xoxoxoxo,
Michelle

Drifting

Imagine a ship out on the open water, raging full speed ahead towards its destination. Waves parting as the ship races with power and strength through the water. The wind soaring through and around the ship as it picks up speed.

Now imagine another ship just drifting along the ocean, being tossed back and forth by the waves but not really moving in any particular direction. It's not headed towards any specific location but instead just being carried wherever the waves take it.

My life currently looks more like the second ship than the first. I have my routines of what my day to day looks like. Work, home, workout, hang with friends, hang with family, sleep, go to church wed and Sunday then do the same things all over again the next week. I do the same things almost every week trying new things here and there but not really pushing towards a goal or a destination.

My boss told me a great quote the other day, he said:
"There is no growth in the comfort zone, and there is no comfort in the growth zone."

My life right now is comfortable. I haven't read a book in the last few months, I haven't devoured the word of God and really allowed it to open my eyes and my heart to more of Jesus in a while...basically I have been doing just enough to get by. I have been faithful in going to church, writing notes, taking my bible, praying daily but not really growing in my understanding of Jesus.

In my health, yes I have incorporated working out into my daily life for about 4 weeks now, I have made major improvements in my eating habits. But if I'm honest I have gotten comfortable in the amount of effort I put forth in my exercise routines. Initially that amount of effort was great but now 4 weeks later I need to push myself harder.

If you aren't pushing forward towards a goal, if you aren't growing, if you aren't stretching beyond what you have already achieved you will become comfortable. Year after year can go by without any change if we stay stagnant. Tonight, I sat down with a friend of mine and we wrote out some goals for the next month, for the next quarter and for the next year. We first focused on what were three main things that I wanted to achieve this year: I want to grow spiritually, I want to be more physically fit and I want to make a difference in my community. Then we took those 3 goals and broke them down into more bite size things that I could do each month that would help me to accomplish those goals. For example, once a month minimum I will try a new type of exercise past my usual workout. That could be doing a salsa class, kayaking, taking a hike, swimming, etc. With the main focus being incorporating something new in my workout routine and building upon that every month. And then I did the same for my other 2 goals.

It's so easy to be carried by the current, to stop rowing, stop growing spiritually, stop learning, stop pushing yourself. Today make the decision to pick up the oars again and start rowing. Initially it's hard to start picking up speed when you're starting from zero speed but once you get going it's that much easier to pick up more and more speed. And before you know it the waves will be parting for you instead of tossing you back and forth in the same spot.

Rooting for you!

xoxoxox,
Michelle

Expectations

A few weeks ago my pastor spoke about expectations and their ability to set us up for disaster. He was referring to the holidays and how we can sometimes put these extremely high expectations on our family and friends to make sure the holidays go perfectly to plan. And you know what, people are people and things happen and sometimes, most times those high expectations aren't met and that has the ability to put you in a tailspin of emotions if you're not careful. For example you decide you're going to cook Christmas dinner at your house and invite all the family over. You let everyone know what time to show up even though you know your sister and her husband always run late but you think, okay I told them what time to arrive they better be here. And like always they arrive late and that sends you over the edge, you think ugh they always do this, they're so rude, now the food is cold, they're so inconsiderate...my day is ruined. When honestly if you had removed that expectation and thought, today no matter what time everyone arrives, I am blessed to have food to prepare for my family, I am thankful to have a family to spend my holidays with, and if anyone arrives later that's okay they can pull up a seat and join in on the laughter and love shared over our holiday meal.

You have the ability to control your emotions and your expectations far before a situation occurs, so why not set yourself up for success. I remember hearing that sermon and thinking wow, I can apply this to so many various areas of my life, in my friendships, in my dating relationships, etc.

If I had to describe myself I would say that I'm a rare combination of laid-back yet have some type A traits, like wanting to control things and make sure they come out perfect. And wanna know when things turn out perfect, when I'm laid-back and let things happen on their own instead of trying to control everything to the minute detail. In hindsight it's that controlling side that has probably ruined lots of past relationships.

In the area of relationships, I always have this mindset that it's going to be picture perfect and I set up these extremely high expectations yet since the other person doesn't know this they inevitably fail to meet those expectations and unfortunately the relationship ends without me even giving it a chance. It's true what they say, hindsight is truly 20/20. If I could go back in time, there's so much I would do differently but more importantly there's so many changes I will now make moving forward.

This past weekend, my best friend Stacy came in to town to visit me and help me re-decorate my entire room. Initially I had made a plan in my head, okay we're first going to paint, then stencil, then move around the furniture, then go shopping for additional pieces if necessary, etc. I had this long list of to do's and had allotted time for each project in my head so we could make the most of the 24hours we had. Well a few days before she arrived she let me know that she needed to make a small change to the schedule that was going to take up about 5 hours of our time total. Initially, I was freaking out cause I was thinking oh my gosh how are we going to have enough time to do everything. And in the midst of my panic I remembered Pastor Rob's sermon and thought you know what, you can either sit here and freak out or you can think you know what, my best friend who lives in another state is here to spend the weekend with me, everything will work itself out, just take each moment for what it is and enjoy it to the fullest, enjoy laughing and spending time with your friend, the room make-over can be completed any day of the week but your friend is only in town for this weekend. Changing my expectation from everything on my to-do list having to be completed to just enjoy your weekend with your best friend and treasure each moment made a HUGE difference. We had a fantastic weekend and I'm so thankful that it wasn't ruined by my initial desire to want to place unnecessary high expectations.

Life is meant to be lived day by day, moment by moment. Remove those unrealistic expectations and instead expect to be surprised by the small treasures that will be revealed in each moment of everyday.

XOXOXOX,
Michelle

Open

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5-6

This scripture is written in such a precise way. Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, not some of it, not half way but with all of your heart. Submit to him, give up the reigns, give up control, and submit to God and his way. Then when all this has been done he will make your paths straight, he will lead you to the exact place where you are supposed to be.

Wow. Sounds simple enough, yet so hard to live out. There has been something weighing on my heart lately, something that I have no control over, something that I need to just trust God on, completely trust him and submit to him. And I'm not gonna lie, that is hard. The saying God, I trust you, that's easy but the living it out each day. It's the small decisions everyday to not give in to my emotions, not make an impulse decision but let God lead my life, yield to his timing to his plan and to ultimately trust that he knows the desire of my heart, he knows what would make me the happiest girl in the world and he knows how to make it happen.

Faith means to trust even when your scared, I think especially when your scared. If I'm honest I am scared, scared to be vulnerable, but that's what it means to trust with ALL YOUR HEART. God, I trust you with all my heart. I am open, I am done running, I am here and I'm willing. God, I trust you and I take a step each day in the path you have for me that will lead me exactly to where I'm supposed to be. That will lead me to my forever.

Te adoro.

Michelle Nicole