Impossible

Lyrics from Desert Song by Hillsong United

"I will rejoice, I will declare. God is my victory and He is here."

Jesus,

You are my everpresent help in time of need. Your word says that You stick closer than a brother, that You never leave us or forsake us. You are always there. If we knock, You answer. Even when we fail You, You never give up.

Thank you for surrounding me and loving me in every season of my life. I have never known a love as deep as Yours, as forgiving as Yours, as patient as Yours. You are my everything.

You have captured my heart.

This year has been so different from all 26 years of my life. This year I feel free, I feel whole, I feel complete. And that's all because of You. Once You stilled me, once You seperated me from those around me, once You had my complete attention...I heard Your voice. I heard You tell me things my heart so desperately desired to hear.

"Michelle you are enough. And I love you."

For so long I had strived to be what everyone else wanted me to be and yet I had never felt like I was enough. But that was because I hadn't stopped to hear my daddy tell me, "baby, you are enough".

But now that I have, and now that I get to hear it everyday I feel as if though not even the sky is the limit on what I can do.

I operate out of wholeness, out of completeness and that feels so good.

This year has started out amazing! The opportunities that You have opened up for me, the blessings that You have poured into my life have been surreal. If someone would have told me last year that in just a few months I would be here I wouldn't have believed it. But that's the kind of daddy I have, He makes the impossible, POSSIBLE.

There is nothing too big for You, especially when it comes to me, Your baby :) I love you!

I have victory because You are here.

Amen.

Michelle Nicole.

Girlfriends

Jesus,

During this season of my life I have had this insatiable desire to surround myself with girlfriends. It's as if though I can't get enough, I want more and more and more girlfriends.

This is definitely something new to me, something that has not been the norm in the past. I've never been the kind of girl who has a lot of girlfriends, it's usually only been a handful of girls and that's it. In high school I always had a lot more guy friends than girls. And then in my early to mid twenties that changed to having just a core small group of girlfriends but nothing more. My reasoning for not having many girlfriends was always that they were too much drama, and or that they were competition.

In a relationship I was in I remember actually hating girls for a while because they were like "competition". It was as if there was a "new girl" brought into the mix then I would think, "great now that's another person who will probably have more of my boyfriends' attention than me", it was an awful awful time in my life. A time where I had very low self-confidence, a time where I felt less than, as if I was always second best.

And then fast-forward to now and it's as if though everything has been completely changed around. You have restored me, restored my self-worth, my self-confidence and really helped me to blossom into the girly girl that You created me to be. I celebrate my girliness now and the joy that is overflowing of my heart I am able to celebrate the wonderful, amazing girls around me.

Seriously in the past 3 weeks I have hung out with more girlfriends than ever before and my schedule is jam-packed with my girlfriend dates in the weeks and months to come. I have literally made friends with girls online, through blogs, in church, at work, even with girls that at one point I thought I disliked. It's amazing!

What I love most about girls is how we are emotional. And not in a dramatic, crazy crying way but in a way that we can relate to those who we love. When girlfriends come together they share in eachothers excitement, they weep in eachothers loss, they encourage eachother in their goals and trials, they laugh with you when you act silly, then get their hands dirty and help when one has made a mess of their lives, they push you to reach your goals, they pray for you and speak hope when you feel hopeless. Girlfriends relate to you and make you feel as if though you are not alone. We all go through seasons of life and those seasons are so much more enjoyable with a girlfriend by your side.

It's just as the scripture in Ecclesiastes 4:8-12 says:

"I turned my head and saw yet another wisp of smoke on its way to nothingness: a solitary person, completely alone—no children, no family, no friends—yet working obsessively late into the night, compulsively greedy for more and more, never bothering to ask, "Why am I working like a dog, never having any fun? And who cares?" More smoke. A bad business. It's better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth. And if one falls down, the other helps, But if there's no one to help, tough! Two in a bed warm each other. Alone, you shiver all night. By yourself you're unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst. Can you round up a third? A three-stranded rope isn't easily snapped."

I love that scripture in reference to friendship. It basically is saying when you're alone without friends life feels meaningless. If your down there's no one to help you up. But when you have friends they will share the work (tough trials in life), share the wealth (delight in your success, be excited when you're excited). Then I like to think the next line where it says "two in a bed warm each other" refers to slumber parties. As young girls we love having slumber parties/sleepovers. I remember many birthday parties becoming all night slumber parties where we would watch chick flicks, eat chocolate and talk about boys. And now as a grown woman I still love love love slumber parties. Being piled in a bed with your closest girlfriends and whispering funny stories in the dark, geeking out is still one of my favorite things to do.

As women, You created us to be relational. We relate to those around us whereas boys were made to be "fixers". They don't want to relate to you they just want to fix it and move on. So many times in past relationship I would get so frustrated because I would want my boyfriend to relate to me, hear the cry of my heart, be excited about my new girly outfit or ring purchase instead of being like "oh cool, whatever". But looking back on it now I realize I was trying to fit my "boyfriend" into a box that only a "girlfriend" could fill. You made us differnt Jesus. And I'm so thankful You did.

Boys are awesome in their own right but girls are amazing. They are compassionate, they are sensitive to God, they weep in worship, they pray heaven down for the ones they love. Jesus, thank you for surrounding me with girlfriends. Thank you for making me girly. Thank you that this season of my life, living whole and complete I am able to pour out into my girlfriends and in turn feel more fulfilled than I ever have felt in my entire life.

Bring more and more and more girlfriends into my life this year than ever before Jesus. Allow me to see them all through Your eyes, to encourage them, to love them and to laugh with them.

Proverbs 17:22 "A cheerful heart is good medicine". I completely agree. The joy that has come into my life through the women You have placed in my heart Lord has done my heart good. I am happier than I ever have been.

I love you daddy! Thank you.

Love,

Michelle Nicole

Marriage

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Genesis 2:24

Jesus,

Today as I was praying during service I thought about exactly that...becoming one flesh, becoming one person. Become one flesh means so much more than what would normally come to someone's mind. Becoming one flesh to me means, that you and your spouse have become one so much so that you feel what they feel, you know when their happy, sad, scared, nervous, worried, or excited without even having to talk to them. It's like this inner knowing, why, because you have become one. You feel what the other feels. You pray for eachother, the rejoice with them when something great happens, you cry with them when something tragic happens, you pray with them...well, always. It's as if you are one person. On the same page. Marriage is beautiful in that you always have someone who is there beside you and is on your team. You are a team, especially when raising children together. You are one.

So tonight as I was reflecting on this, I thought of You. Jesus, I want to be one with You. I want to feel what you feel. I want to get excited about the things that You get excited about. I want to have a burden for what You have a burden for, what breaks Your heart I want to also break mine. That I would be so sensitive to You that I am always exactly where I need to be, doing exactly what You need me to do. That we would be one.

Jesus, I give you permission to take over. Take over my emotions, my plans, my schedule, my life, my dreams, my career, my family, everything. I join my thoughts, desires, hopes, dreams to Yours. It's not just me anymore, it's US. Me and You. Michelle Nicole + Jesus.

And when You bring my husband and I together in marriage it will be You + Me + my husband. And we will become one flesh.

I love you.

Amen.
Michelle Nicole