From impossible to possible

Ephesians 3:20-21 (The Message)
God can do anything, you know - far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.

Our God is the God who makes the impossible, possible. There is nothing that He can't do.

Matthew 7:7 (The Message)
Don't bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need.

Ask for what you need. What is it that you want, healing for a family member or friend, a job, a spouse, friends, salvation, etc? Ask God.

Matthew 18: 18-20 (The Message)
Take this most seriously: A yes on earth is a yes in heaven; a no on earth is a no in heaven. What you say to one another is eternal. I mean this. When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I'll be there.

Speak what is possible with God. Align your words with the desire of your heart that you are asking God for. And gather those around you that will pray with you, that will believe with you. Surround yourself with a community of faith.

What is it in your life that looks impossible? What is it that others have said is impossible? For me, its my bestfriend Morgan's cousin Britney's health. The doctors say she has cancer, but God says that by His stripes we are healed. I am praying for Britney's healing, I am speaking life and not death. Britney is healed in Jesus name, she will not die but will live out all the days of her life. Will you agree with me for her healing. Nothing is impossible for you God. Nothing.

Thank you Jesus because you hear our prayers, and you act upon them. You can do all things Jesus. I know that you are good, I know that you are our healer, you're name is above all. Thank you for your goodness, for your faithfulness and for your love.

We serve a God who is all powerful.

What is it that you would like for me to agree in prayer with you over? Remember all things are possible for those that believe.

xoxox,
Michelle

New Chapter

New Year's is right around the corner, the time of year when people all around the globe make resolutions or lists of goals they hope to accomplish throughout the year. And it has me thinking.

What do I want for this next year, what do I hope for, what do I want to do. Last year during this time I set out to get better at living in the now, at living in this moment and to enjoy all the blessings in my life currently instead of longing for the future. So how did I do? Well I started out great and actually kept it up for most of the year, then somewhere towards the end of the year I got busy with life, I kind of got on auto-pilot and well, I don't do auto-pilot very well. So for this year I want to take a step back per say, I want to get off auto-pilot and live my life again. I want to live everyday as a new adventure. Remove all the expectations for the future and live in the now, live with an expectancy of what Jesus has for me each day.

In the bible, Jesus provided the Isrealites each day with fresh manna from heaven, everyday he provided. I want fresh manna everyday Jesus.

Matthew 6:34 (The Message)
Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

Give attention to what God is doing right now. Right now. At this present moment. Live your life, because we've only got one life. You have been given this moment, and we have not been promised tommorrow. Slow down. Breathe and enjoy la dolce vida.

Jesus, help me to notice when I set the auto-pilot, in fact I would like you to obliterate my ability to even get on auto-pilot. Give me child-like wonder for every day. Help me to slow down, to see you in every moment, in every day. I want to see everything through your eyes, set me afresh.

Tomo unos momentos cada dia, ciera los ojos y respira. El te ha dado esto momento, disfrutalo :)

XOXOXOX,
Michelle

Hopes and Dreams

What are my hopes and dreams? What do I want to achieve? What would make my heart leap with happiness? Right now I don't know.

I watched a movie recently called. Burlesque and it was awesome, hearing Christina Aguilera sing just blows me away. You definitely know that girl was made to sing, its undeniable. Lately anytime I see a movie or hear a story of a person who has achieved their dreams, who is doing what they were made to do, it has made me cry. Not weeping or anything but an authentic happy for them cry yet sad that I don't know what that is for me.

God what was I made to do? What was I created to accomplish? What have you placed inside of me to birth? What destiny or dream do you have for me?

What am I doing? What am I shooting for? Don't get me wrong I really love my job but this desire is beyond just doing a job. This is beyond a title. It's bigger, it's deeper.

God, what do I do? Awaken me, awaken my soul. I love pouring into others, being an encourager but that's not necessarily a dream. For a while I thought maybe I wanted to be a counselor but that doesn't really excite me all that much.

God, I know that you have a purpose and a plan for my life. There is a void that my life was made to fill. What is it?

Over the last year my prayers have been for my future husband and asking God to mold and shape me into a woman that reflects Him. But I seem to have forgotten about my dreams. And in light of that I honestly don't know if I want my husband to come into my life just yet. I want to be doing what God made me to do, I want him to have something to be proud of me about. I want to be doing something that I'm proud of, something that is mine, something that I can point to and say THAT'S what I was made to do. Honestly I want to be happy, not just happy cause everything is going good but a happy that comes from deep down within my heart, within my soul that I am making an impact here on earth and not just taking up space.

God, I'm being vulnerable and honest...I know that there's more to my life. There is a desire, a dream inside of me that isn't being met and my soul is crying out for it. Please open my heart, search it, open my eyes to more.

Psalm 42:6-8
When my soul is in the dumps, I rehearse everything I know of you....deep calls out deep, to the tune of whitewater rapids. Your breaking surf, your thundering breakers crash and crush me. Then God promises to love me all day, sing songs all through the night! My life is God's prayer.

My soul is in the dumps Jesus. Wash over me.

XOXOXO,
Michelle

Taking Inventory

It's Thanksgiving today and here I am reading my blog from a year ago thinking to myself, where am I today this year as opposed to where I was today last year.

If I could take inventory of the past year what has changed? Where have I grown? At the beginning of the year I set out to do stuff I had always wanted to do or had never done before. And so far here's my list of things I did and how they went:

1. Ran my first half-marathon with my baby brother - I ran 90% of the way, I couldn't believe it. Crossing that finish line and seeing my best friend (who surprised me cause she lives out of town) and family there to congratulate me was so precious.
2. Went to South Padre beach (multiple times) - it's absolutely beautiful to be able to wake up and walk along the beach shore with the waves crashing against your legs, while the sun rises all while talking to Jesus. I highly recommend it!
3. Went to see my favorite musician in concert..JOHN MAYER! And to make things better I went by myself. 5th row back from the stage. It was amazing! Definitely hands down one of the best concerts I have ever been to.
4. Then, I got a little carried away with the concerts. Went to see Carrie Underwood, Rhianna and John Mayer (again). One of which I did by myself. There's just something about going to a concert by yourself, where no one knows you, and you can just let your hair down, dance your heart out and sing along to your favorite songs with your favorite musician. So much fun!
5. Tasted 2 new kinds of food and fell in love haha Thai food, all I can say is YUM! I'm pretty sure I had Pad Thai at least once a week for like 2 months straight after my friend Chris introduced me to it lol Then Sushi...OMG....I didn't know that sushi could taste so delicious until my friend Stacy introduced me to Momiji! Wow hands down my favorite sushi place ever.
6. Traveled to California and drove from Los Angeles to San Diego with one of my girlfriends. It was the best 5 days of my summer, got to go to the God Chicks Conference, the beach, Rodeo Drive, and so much more. Absolute blast!
7. Learned how to sew. This one wasn't earth shattering fun but at least it made me a little more domesticated haha
8. Reconciled a friendship that I thought was over. Asked for forgiveness. Cried. Laughed. And now we're best of friends again. Power of forgiveness is incredible.
9. Learned how to country western dance. This one was quite fun. It's not everyday you meet a Colombian who likes country music but I really do. And one of my girlfriends and I took an informal dance class for 6 weeks at a local university. So much fun!
10. Had my heart healed from the inside out by my amazing, all powerful, all consuming, loving Savior.

While all of these things were new experiences and were an absolute blast, the one that meant the most to me was the last one. Jesus, took my very broken heart this time last year and made it something new and beautiful. This year I have so much to be thankful for, family, friends, new experiences but most of all Jesus and his amazing work in my life. Jesus, help me to continue to grow, to be stretched outside of my comfort zone for the good, to try new things, to love again, and to be more like you.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Make this next year the best one yet! And try something new :)

XOXOXOX,
Michelle

Family

A little over a week ago I was laying in bed talking with Jesus and was pouring my heart out to Him. I was being honest with Him and asking Him some pretty direct questions.

"God, why hasn't my husband arrived? Why am I not married? Do you think I'd be some kind of awful wife and that's why I'm not married? Is there something wrong with me? Is there some lesson I haven't learned yet? God, what is it? Why am I single? I need to know because this being single isn't fun anymore? I need to know the reason."

And I heard...

"I'm giving you more time with your family. This season is for you to spend time with your family."

And I'm not gonna lie it somewhat freaked me out at first, I was like why Jesus, are they going to die or something? But He gave me peace that that wasn't the case. To be honest my mom has always talked about the nations. She is originally from El Salvador and I know that it is her heart's desire to one day go back and preach to her people about Jesus. She's always telling me how she would love to go back there, to go to all Latin American nations and preach the good news. So who knows maybe when I get married she'll be gone to the nations and I won't see her very often. Or who knows, maybe shortly after I get married, my husband and I will move. Either way it comforted me that God knows the plans He has for me and He knows the future, and has given me this season to spend time with my family.

It's only been about a week and a half but that revelation has really made me shift my priorities. I stay home a lot more often now, I try and cook dinner for them as often as I can, I left my church to go to church with my parents and serve alongside them, I have rearranged my schedule to make my family and serving them a focal point of this season. If God has given me this extended season of singleness to spend with my family then I am definitely going to take advantage of it and enjoy my family.

Ecclesiastes 3:1
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.

I have the most amazing parents in the world. They both absolutely love Jesus and encourage me everyday. My parents are incredible. My mom will pray down heaven for me. She would do anything for me. She is a treasure, a gift to me from Jesus. My brother is the best brother in the world. He is my best friend. He has my back. He loves me unconditionally and is my biggest encourager. My step-dad has such a servant's heart, there is nothing he wouldn't do for me. I am truly blessed to call them my family and I will soak up this time with them.

Thank you Jesus for this season and the gift that it has been for me. I love you! Show me everyday how I can serve my family better, how I can love them more, how I can be you to them. Amen.

-Michelle

Do you feel like you are going through an extended season of singleness, or without a job, or whatever and want to know why? Ask Jesus. Allow Him to comfort you and allow Him to reveal the meaning of this season?

Court date

I had a court date, I had committed the crime that I was being accused of and I was on trial. I knew I was guilty and my tears weren't going to get me out of this one. The accuser was telling the judge how I was guilty of this that and the other and he was right, I didn't have an excuse. And while I sat there waiting to hear my judgement that I fully deserved the judge did something unbelievable. He stepped down into my seat and took all the blame for me. He took the sentence, He served the time, He paid the price.

Nobody would do that for another, nobody on earth would take the blame for your sins but that's exactly what Jesus did for me. He took it all and wiped my sentence clean, He gave me a fresh start, even though I had willingly sinned, even though I had known it wasn't okay, He took it all and forgave me. He took my place.

Tonight while we were in worship at church we sang a song called A beautiful exchange by Hillsong and it reminded me of how good my God is, how He carried all my blame, He broke the curse all for my redemption. He took my place when He died on the cross, He died so I could live, He died so that I could be made new, He died so that I could be forgiven.

That's the Jesus that I serve. I may not live my life like most young adults my age, I may live by a different standard but it's because I was guilty yet the judge wiped my slate clean. I bet anyone who has stood before an actual judge would act very different if they knew the judge had not only paid their bail but served their sentence. They would be eternally grateful and would live in a way that would show the judge they're gratitude. They wouldn't live their life haphazardly.

My Jesus took my place, He extended grace, He loved me back to wholeness, He gave me a new life, He blessed me, when I was guilty and didn't deserve it. That's my Jesus. That's my Saviour. And that's why I love Him.

-Michelle Nicole

It's not a fairy-tale, it's reality

I am very much a romantic at heart. I love everything about love. I love the butterflies you get when that special someone walks into the room. I love the smile that instantly comes across your face when that special someone's name pops up on your phone. Love is the best feeling in the world!

My friends who really know me would say I live in a fairy tale land sometimes because I want that fairy tale relationship. I want a relationship where we are passionately in love, where we do sweet things for eachother because we want to, where we cherish, value and adore eachother, where we want nothing but the best for eachother. I want that relationship where if I'm having a rough day he goes to the store and gets me a flower and surprises me with it when I get home, or on our wedding day sends me a card that says how excited he is to share the rest of his life with me, or calls me just to say he was thinking about me and loves me, not because he feels he has to but because he wants to. That's the love that I want. And there's no reason why that should only happen in fairy tales. For every person that has tried to burst my bubble I say no to their complacent thinking, I say no to settling for anything less than love how Jesus loves me, I say no to someone loving me lazily. My Jesus romances me, He loves me, He surprises me, He reminds me everyday that He choses to spend time with me, that I am His whole world, that there is nothing He wouldn't do for me, that He has nothing but the best in store for me. So why would I settle for anything less in a husband.

I am done with people saying, oh guys aren't romantic, or guys don't do that stuff, or that only happens in the movies. When someone really loves you they will show it.

My future husband will love me like Jesus loves me, he will value me, cherish me, he will enjoy being my hero and I will enjoy being his girl.

And believe me, my man will be the most loved, respected, honored, cherished man on the planet!

Can't wait! :)

-Michelle Nicole

He reigns

Philippians 2:9-11:

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and earth and under the earth, and every tounge confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

The name of Jesus is above every name. His name is above pride, depression, fear, anxiety, worry, stress, sickness, lonliness and your past. This morning I awoke from a dream of my past, a dream that stirred emotions of fear and sadness. Your past has a way of doing that, of brining back memories, of taking you back to a place where your heart no longer belongs.

When you're in the thick of it, when you're in sin, you think God please fix it. I know I did, I thought God I know we've done wrong, I know that this isn't right but please fix it. And you think God, if you could fix this it would be a great testimony. But to be honest, that part of the past, the sin must die. Your past cannot walk with you into the future God has for you.

That is not to say that God can't fix broken relationships or sinful pasts, but in order for Him to have something to work with you've gotta give it to him...all of it and then let that past die.

He reigns. His name is above all. He loves you. He has a plan. Let His love remove the fear. Your past won't compare with the riches and glory He has in store for your future.

Jesus, you reign, thank you for encouraging me along the journey, thank you that you have greatness in store for my future, thank you for being my all, my everything, my source of comfort and strength. I love you

-Michelle Nicole

Breakdown to Breakthrough

Have you ever had one of those weeks where it felt like all hell broke loose over your life? Where everything that could go wrong did? And seriously not one area of your life wasn't under attack? Welcome to the last 2 weeks of my life. Now I'm not gonna lie usually when this happens I've always associated it with, well I must have done something bad to bring this on my life. But this time, it was different, I haven't done anything wrong, in fact I've been doing a lot of things right, so how is it that all this chaos has been brought on?

I love my job but lately its been extremely stressful, busy, non-stop and oh did I mention stressful. I have noticed myself being really short with co-workers, not having patience, being harsh and that's not like me. Then with my family, my brother moved out last week due to some very unwise decisions and it caused a lot of drama at home. My mind has been under severe attack, while I'm awake, while I'm asleep, at all times. I have been feeling really low self-worth, feeling very defeated, feeling very alone. Oh and then this season of singleness has really caused some anxiety and depression. Feelings of, "Lord will I ever marry?", "why am I not married yet, am I some kind of loser that nobody wants to marry?", "how will I even meet my husband when I don't even talk to any guys and the few guys that are my friends aren't anybody that I would ever even want to date", and so on and so forth.

So in a nutshell that has been my life the last two weeks. And today I was at my wits end, I basically felt like, Lord if I don't have some kind of breakthrough tonight at church then I'm seriously gonna have a mental breakdown. The weight of all the chaos had just about broke me. And then tonight happened. During worship tonight I just poured my heart out to God and said, Lord I don't trust you. I don't trust that you've got me. I'm so down. I....need....You. And like a flood He rushed in, He covered me with His peace, He gave me strength, He told me to not let go but to keep holding on. To keep trusting Him even though my eyes don't see the way out of this desert season. And that's all it took. Hearing His voice of reassurance, His voice saying, "baby don't let go, I'm here, I've got you", for me to go from near breakdown to breakthrough.

We all have those days, those weeks where it feels like if it's not one thing it's another and we just don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. But God is faithful, He never leaves us, and even when we don't see the way out, He reminds us to hold on because He will make a way. He has a plan. Trust Him.

You don't have to be perfect. Talk to Him, be honest about where you heart is and rest assured that He will meet you where you are.

My circumstances didn't change, my brother is still gone, my piles of paperwork will still be there tomorrow when I arrive at work, I'm still single but He renewed my strength to hold on. Because it's only in holding on, in persevering that we are able to see the miracle at the end of it all.

Isaiah 43:19 "I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."

-Michelle Nicole

Running 100 miles an hour

I seem to only operate in 2 speeds, 100 miles an hour or 0. And it's honestly exhausting. I need to learn how to cruise, still going forward, but not at break neck speed. I need to slow down, I need to rest, I need to make sure I don't burn out.

Last year I purchased my dream car and I love my car, but I treat it well, I don't go from zero to 100 every time I drive it. I slowly increase the speed and slowly decrease the speed maintaining the speed limit. Yet when it comes to my life, I don't take care of myself that much and God has shown me that a.) I need to rest and b.) I need to have self-discipline.

I don't have any children of my own, but I do know plenty of people who have babies and they all seem to say the same thing. Babies and small children need to be on a schedule, they need to get proper rest, they need routine. Why? Because they will function better with a schedule. Well, I think that shouldn't only apply to babies. It should apply to everyone. I can't function at my best when I'm tired, when I have been eating junk all week, when I haven't been taking care of myself.

So during this season, that is what I am trying to learn. To be disciplined. To be on a schedule. To go to bed at a certain time, to wake up at a certain time everyday, to eat better, to make time for rest. I can't continue living the way I have, I can't keep running 100 miles an hour and then burnout and do zero for a few days only to run 100 miles an hour again and burnout the next month. It's not healthy. It's not Godly.

Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Self-control is just another word for discipline. If you are disciplined in one area of your life, it will eventually spill over into other areas. But the opposite is true too, if you do whatever you want in one area, I bet you do whatever you want in other areas of your life.

I personally need to be disciplined in my eating, resting, finances and there's no better time than the present to start.

Jesus, I give you control over my schedule, I give you control over my finances, over my eating habits, over everything.

Luke 16:10 Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with very much.

Jesus, right now I'm only in charge of me. Later on down my life journey I will be responsible for a family, help me to be self-disciplined. To persevere, to be fully present, to not run exhausted but to be energized and available to do those things which matter. Help me to say no enough so that I can say yes when you need me to. Help me to be responsible with the time that you have blessed me with.

In Jesus name I pray, amen.

Rooting for you,

Michelle Nicole

In what areas of your life do you need to be disciplined in? Start this
week. Make a change.

Natalie Grant & Jordin Sparks - Human ~ 41st Annual Dove Awards

Positioned for a purpose

I have worked for my company for about 2 and half years and in that time I have had the pleasure to work alongside Amy. Amy and I share an office, she sits about 5 feet away from me and seriously has rocked my world. Every time she takes a PTO day, I miss her dearly, she is one of the most humble, serving, loving people I know and there is absolutely nothing I wouldn't do for her. If you met her you'd know that she talks at only one speed, incredibly fast, she can never answer a question with just yes or no, she loves to talk, she has the ability to make you feel comfortable in an instant, she has the funniest laugh, she has very poor taste in movies (she likes spoof movies), she's pocket-sized and her favorite phrase is, "what can I do to help". She is a gem and I adore her.

But tonight while preparing for my bible study I realized something new about my job. See, my role at work is human resources. I have absolutely no prior work experience doing human resources. My degree is in marketing/advertising. And 99% of the time I have no idea what I'm doing. I am solely responsible for my entire companies' payroll, health/medical benefits, new hire orientation, security clearance processing and 401K. Oh and did I mention I have no experience in any of this. There are so many times that I sit at my desk and question God, "Jesus, how in the world did I get here?", "How in the world do I do this or that?", "Are you sure I can do this?". I have had the privilege to go to fancy restaurants, amazing conference centers, presentations at some of the most luxurious country clubs all on other people's dime because of my position. And usually I'm the youngest person in the room by like 20 years, it's insane. And every time it reminds me that God hand-picked me for this specific job for a purpose.

For a while I'm not gonna lie, I was like God, okay what am I supposed to learn here. Obviously you brought me here for a reason. Is it to learn about payroll? Or to learn how to do benefits? Or how to deal with employee relations? And tonight I realized why....it's for Amy.

Matthew 5:16 "In the same way, let your light shine before me, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."

Amy doesn't know Jesus but she know that I do. She knows that I go to church. She knows that I serve at my church but honestly that's about it. I will admit I haven't done a great job of showing her Jesus, of showing the goodness of God in my life. I have allowed myself to get so focused on the job, on the tasks set before me that there are times I hardly say a word to her, or get in her world. It's like I mentioned in my post before, without a vision, the people perish. I hadn't seen my job in terms of the bigger picture, the greater purpose and that is to bring Amy to know Jesus. It's not to have her come to my church or even to say she's a christian. But for her to know the goodness of God, for her to feel the love of Jesus, for her to know that she is loved, that she is never alone. For her to feel blessed by Jesus. And God has placed me at my company to serve as a conduit to show his love towards her.

This has literally opened my eyes. It has changed the way I view my job. It has caused me to want to make some changes. I am human and when I don't have enough sleep I can be really quiet, introverted, and closed off. Not cause I'm mad or anything but because I'm exhausted and just want to be left alone. And if I'm honest I have been exhausted for a few months now. So I will be going to sleep earlier, I want to be fully present at work, I want to be awake and energized to engage with Amy throughout the day, to be able to not only do my job but help relieve the burden from her at times, to surprise her with lunch, to serve her, to do life with her, to laugh, to talk, to share our world. I have been positioned at a job that I am not qualified for but that I have been chosen for to reach God's daughter, to reach His precious baby, to reach the love of His life, to speak encouragement when the world tries to beat her down, to take the weight off her shoulders when she can't go any further. I am positioned for a purpose.

Jesus, I am here, I am willing, use me. Take control of my schedule, take control of my emotions, give me rest, give me joy and show me daily how to love your daughter to you.

Do you know why you are at your job? Have you been positioned for a purpose? I bet you have, ask Jesus who you are to bless.

Rooting for you always.

Love,

Michelle Nicole

Pointed Prayer

In early July, I was laying in bed one night talking to God about my future husband. Asking him, what's he gonna be like, where is he, what's he doing right now, does he think of me? And at the same time praying for him and feeling somewhat guilty that I didn't pray for him more often. I thought, God, please help me to be more consistent in praying for me husband. But I knew that wouldn't be enough. I knew that my daily prayer would probably go a little something like this, Lord, be with my husband today, give him strength for the day and bless him. Amen. Just being honest but I know myself. So I asked God to give me a topic for everyday of the week that I could pray for my husband about, and He gave me one for everyday of the week. Monday's I pray for his friendships, Tuesday's health, Wednesday's job and finances, Thursday's his leadership ability and being submitted to God, Friday's his relationship with God, Saturday's his family and our future family together, Sunday's protection from temptation, protection of his heart, mind and body and I speak words of faith over our future marriage. But that still wasn't enough. I needed accountability to make sure I didn't forget not one single day. So, I called my bestfriend Stacy and told her about my commitment to pray daily for my husband and that everyday I would text her after I was done praying for him that way she could keep me accountable. And not only did she agree but she decided she wanted to pray with me, because where 2 or more are gathered, there in the midst of them is God, so she decided that every time I texted her she would pray for him too and her husband as well. Absolutely precious!!! It has now been 2 months since we started praying for our husbands daily and I know that God is not only doing something in our future husbands but He's doing amazing things in our lives.

Prayer changes things, it aligns your vision with what God wants. God has been so faithful in these last two months to give me direct prayers to pray everyday concerning the topics of prayer for my husband. And I now will definitely know when God reveals my husband to me. Why, because it will be a direct reflection of the prayers that I have prayed. I have prayed that my husband be a man that is submitted to God, that He be a man that is lead by God, that He be a world changer, that his heart would be sensitive to the heart of God, that His family would be sold out to God, that His money would be God's money, that He would be surrounded by friends that would pour into him, that they would pray for him, that they would keep him accountable and guide him in the right direction. When you begin to pray these kind of prayers, you get a vision of what God has in store for your life and at the same time it makes it exponentially difficult for the enemy to bring a counterfeit into your life.

A few weeks ago, I was at the mall and this guy approached me and started chatting me up. Asking me what I like to do for fun, where I was from, what I did for a living, etc. Basically he was trying to let me know that he was interested in getting to know me better and after about 30 minutes of interrogating me (seriously) he asked me if I would like to go out sometime. Well in that 30 minutes I told him I went to church and asked him if he did and he said, um yeah I have gone a couple times but my schedule is crazy so I don't really go too often. And in that moment I very quickly confirmed in my head that yeah this wasn't the man I had been praying for. My husband isn't going to have a haphazard relationship with God, he is going to be a man on fire for God, someone who is running 100 miles after God. The enemy is sneaky though because on paper this guy wasn't bad but when aligned with the prayers I have prayed and the things God has confirmed in relation to my future husband this guy fell way short.

Prayer gives you a vision. And like the bible says, where there is no vision the people perish (Proverbs 29:18). We have to have a vision for our future. Whether that is a vision for your future mate, your future job, your future home, your future (you fill in the blank). Without a vision for your spouse, the enemy will bring you junk, he will bring you a fake, he will bring you heartbreak. But with God's vision you will see through that. I'm sure this man in the mall was a great person, but he was not the man for me. Had I not been praying for my husband for a month before that, I could have got myself wrapped up in a relationship that God never intended for me. I could have got distracted but my God loves me so much that He placed it on my heart a month ahead to pray for my husband. And he loves my future husband so much that he protected my heart, his future wife's heart from someone else.

If you're single, take this and make it your own. Ask God to give you specific prayers to pray for your future spouse, get someone to keep you accountable and wait for God to bring that amazing spouse into your life. Because I know that my God is faithful. He has great plans for my life and yours. I pray you are blessed and encouraged.

Love,

Michelle Nicole.

Life happens....then there's God

Life happens. Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months and months into years all in the blink of an eye it feels sometimes. It's like that Nationwide commercial....Life comes at you fast. And for me when life starts to happen, when I get caught up in the day to day tasks, in going to work, going to the gym, coming home and getting up the next day to do it all over again, staying up super late on the weekends to catch up with girlfriends or catching a concert...it all starts to blur together and I get run down. It's in those moments when I sometimes can get distracted, when I forget that this is not the end of the road for me, God has called me to greater. While none of those things are bad, they can wear on you if you don't hold on to the promises God has told you and continue seeking His strength and guidance on how to get there.

4 years ago God spoke some pretty huge things into my life. He spoke the nations into my heart, leading/speaking at huge global conferences, having a school of leadership for under-privileged children in countries without mentors, training or opportunities. Literally speaking life into those that the world has tossed aside and made think that they are forgotten. That's huge.

And if I'm not careful, if I get too busy running the "rat race" I will get numb to those things and that's exactly what the enemy would love. But thankfully, I have women in my life who know me, who see me (see past the facade) and remind me, Michelle you are not just a girl who does human resources for a huge company, you are not just a girl who serves in her church....you are called to the nations. My friend Caitlin told me the other day, Michelle I don't know who this girl is with the grown-up job because I never met her, I only know Michelle, the woman of God who is called to the nations, who has a mighty calling on her life to do something huge to impact this globe. I know what you're thinking, and yes I have some pretty amazing women in my life.

But then there's the other end of that, my mom who says, "Michelle, why are you serving in that area of church when that has nothing to do with your calling?" To which I reply, "Mom, just because God has called me to something huge doesn't mean that I can turn my nose up at the small beginnings, at the baby steps that God has entrusted to me." So it's a balancing act, be an amazing server at church, be a fantastic employee at work, take care of your body by working out, pour into those around you that you love.....oh and remember you were made to impact the nations. Believe me, I'm not complaining about any of it, because all of it is such an incredible blessing but how do I not let life happen, how do I make sure I don't let life get in the way of the dreams in my heart.

I don't take my eye off the prize. I run this race with the goal in mind. Everything I do, whether it has to do with work or pouring into the amazing women in my life, I have to remember it's all for a purpose. And even if sometimes it doesn't make sense now, I know that His ways are definitely higher than mine and it will all make sense one day. My Jesus is funny that way. I'm sure a huge aha moment lies ahead but in the meantime I won't let life and the sometimes mundane feeling get me off track. Gotta push ahead baby!

Have a great day...I'm off to the gym now. Gotta be in shape cause the nations is huge, it's not just a specific region, the nations is a lot of freakin' land. Hmm maybe I should order new tennis...hahaha

Michelle Nicole

Sermon Notes

At the end of July I went to a conference called Avivanos. And without me even expecting it, the word of God that was spoken and the way in which it was taught completely blew me away. Below I have typed up some of the notes from the conference. I was reading over them again tonight and felt that I needed to share them with you. I pray they encourage you, open your eyes and draw you nearer to God.

Love,
Michelle Nicole


Claudio Freidzon
Psalm 23

Matthew 22:37-40

Colossians 3:23-24

Do not despise the small beginnings; get excited about the word the Lord has said over you, even if with your eyes you don't see it yet.

Prepare yourself because something great is coming to your life.

God wants to stir up revival in your heart. And that fire, ministry, strength, dream will be revived.

What causes the fire to be put out?

1. Lose the purpose and the reason for being a christian.

-Losing the purpose for your life. God has saved you and he has a plan, destiny and reason for you to live.

-The purpose is to worship Jesus, spend time with Him.

-You have been chosen and called. God has a plan.

-He who began a good work in you will perfect it and bring it through to completion.

-Do not forget what God spoke to you when He saved you.

-When the enemy tries to stop you with lies, remind him that God has a plan and purpose for your life.

2. Talent/Gifts not taken advantage of; not using the gift God has given you.

-Use the gift God has given you.

-Live your life differently, let people see the change God has done in your life.

-Wherever you go the glory of God inhabits.

3. Bad management of your time. Not giving God time.

-Give God praise and thanks in all things at all time.

-Do not lose sight of the things of God, of spending time with God (praying, fellowship, serving, communion)

4. Sins that have not been confessed.

-Do not ignore problems/issues, bring them before God.

5. Living a solitary life. Moving away from counsel.

-Surround yourself with those who will lift you up when you begin to fall down.

6. Conflict that has not been resolved. (ex. Jealousy, resentment)

-Resentment undealt with will result in bitterness.

-Testify to those around you of what God has done in your life.

-Don't speak ill of others.

-Talk about Jesus.

7. When you become lukewarm

-Return to your first love

-Love the Lord you God with all your heart

-When someone does you wrong, they didn't do it to you , they did it to Him. Give it to Him, give Him your pain and failure. Let him take revenge. You serve those who have done you wrong.

Lindell Cooley

Psalm 132:13

You were made to worship, you will worship something or someone, you choose.

God will take you out of your comfort zone, take you out of your set mindset to do something new.

God will tell you what you're gonna do, what he's gonna do through you, but we create our own plan as to how to reach it. But God has his own plans and only his plans please him.

God sometimes will call you to do "crazy" things but when you are obedient his glory will come down.

The supernatural world and the natural world run parallel. The way you treat your mate is the way you treat your God. For example, do you do stuff only to get something from your mate? You probably treat God the same way.

Worship is meant to pull a sound out of you in worship/praise to God from your spirit.

Get your body and soul in line with your spirit, the spirit of God. You body is a slave to the spirit God has put inside of you.

Remember the goodness of God, remember the great things God has done in your life to get happy when you don't feel like it.

Marcos Barrientos

Isaiah 61

What is ministry or "to minister"?

-It is not leading worship, it is not being an usher, etc.

-It is what Isaiah 61 says: You are to lift up the brokenhearted, set the captives free, following what the spirit of the Lord says.

-When ministering, remember the tone in which you speak to those around you. Speak in a tone that will heal their hurts, in a tone that will comfort.

-You ministry is the not the same as your function.

3 Things that can encourage you

1. Have confidence in the work God is doing in your life.

-If you look at your condition today you might disqualify yourself even though God hasn't disqualified you.

-But if you hold on to the words and promises of God they begin to resonate in your spirit, then it ministers all the way deep down inside of you

-Do not let go of His promises.

-A good memory is important for your spirit in your life.

-Psalm 103:3-5 quote it to encourage you when you start to feel down.

-He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion.

-Inside of you are songs of healing. Other people are dying to hear them and if you don't sing it they will die. You telling your story ministers to others.

2. Make yourself available to be used by God

-Although we can't help we can position ourselves to be used by God to reach/heal others.

-Psalm 23

-The confidence needed to minister by the power of the holy spirit comes from the experience you've had with the Lord. Taste and see that the Lord is good. Because you can't take people where you haven't already been.

-Never succumb to the negative news you hear, God has good news.

3. God gives you the correct medicine

-He fills you with what you are lacking.

Betty Friedzon

-The times of frustration are not to kill your dream but to make your feet firm on God's foundation.

-If you are single, be obedient to God, grab hold of Him and see that the best is yet to come. He has the best for you.

2 Kings 4:8-37

-Make your heart a place of God's dwelling. Welcome the Holy Spirit into your life, into your heart everyday.

Claudio Freidzon

Colossians 4:14-15

Philemon 1:24

2 Timothy 4:10

-Demas: literally means, "he that can lead, govern others"

-Demas started well but ended bad.

2 Conclusions as to why Demas did not end well

1. A good start does not guarantee a good finish.

-Don't let life get in the way of finishing well, of having a passion for God.

-Your heavenly father will come in when you start to feel weak so that you can finish the race.

-It doesn't matter what happened yesterday because God makes all things new.

2. Lost having a purpose, stopped having a dream

-Protect the dream/gift that God has given you.

-Lift up the hands of those who are losing the battle and give them words of encouragement, they will not stop the race of life halfway.

-Do not get stuck in your sin, ask God to help you, ask those around you for help.

Cash Luna

Luke 5:17-18, 20-26

-You can be under the anointing to do something but not actually use it. (Jesus in this story had the power to heal but wasn't healing.)

-You might be anointed to do something but you need to ask God how to administer it, how to use it, when to use it.

-Learn to see what others don't see. Do not trust your earthly vision but your supernatural vision. Follow God not your emotions. Do not assume things about other people.

-God is faithful, He answers our cries but He does it on His timing. But He always answers.

-You can't quit halfway through a trial, you have to stay to see the miracle happen.

-How many times do you think God has allowed trials to come to your life to increase your faith and you've thought it was the devil. He increases your faith because He only moves by your faith.

-If you're gonna be a woman of God you've gotta get over your prejudice of asking.

-When you are ministering you need to ask God for a sensitive heart towards the spirit.

-We must learn to see and then to say and then see what God does.

-There doesn't need to be music or emotion for the anointing to be there, there only has to be faith and the anointed will move according to the faith you have.

-When ministering, living your life in a way that will minister to others you have to balance your life w/the word and the power of God.

-You won't know your faithful until you are tested.

-God will bless you with money to see what you will do with it. What you do with it is what you'll do with God's power/anointing.

-He is testing to see your administration.

-God gives you a spouse to see how you treat them because that is how you will treat His bride, the church.

-The mind is used for thinking, but the heart is used for believing.

-To see if you are loyal and trustworthy of His presence, of His anointing He will see how you administer parts of your life (finances, your house, etc.) - do you buy everything you can or what you should.

The A21 Campaign: abolishing injustice in the 21st century

SCTNow Promo Video.mov

Human-trafficking

Last night I had a horrible dream that for millions across the globe is a reality.

I had a dream that I was on a moving RV/bus vehicle that had various rooms on it and a bathroom with a shower. On that bus was my mom, my brother, myself, many other victims of human trafficking and about 40 men who were holding us all captive. In the dream my mom would try and protect me, shield me from the men raping me and so they would rape her instead. In the dream I remember screaming and crying because while I was so afraid, I didn't want them harming my mom. I remember feeling as if though I was stuck, I was so scared but I knew I had to get out somehow. The men on the RV would grab me, and I would scream and do everything I could to make them stop. It was horrific. Then they raped me. I was devastated and all I could do was cry. But it was at that point that I remember looking at my mom and saying, "mom, this feels like hell on earth, I am going to escape, we have to somehow get out of here" and she said "but how", "I don't know mom but we have to do something."

In the bus there was a side door and windows. At that moment I ran to the side door and was about to run out when my mom told me to wait because all those men that were holding us captive were outside and they would see me and kill me. So I waited. Shortly there after the bus pulled into a gas station and I knew that was my moment, so I rolled down a small window and started screaming for the people around to please call the police because we were being held hostage as victims of human trafficking on that bus. I remember the looks on the people's faces, they were shocked, they didn't know what to do, they just stared at me horrified. I knew that I had to do more, I had to escape so I squeezed myself out of the window and while I was doing that one of the men in the bus started charging towards me with a huge gun, I didn't know if he was going to kill me but in that moment I didn't care, I knew that either way death would be better than the hell that we were living being held captive.

I climbed on the roof of the bus and I remember the man shouting that he was going to shoot me through the roof of the bus, so I ran as fast as I could towards the front of the bus and jumped down before he saw me. But I remember before I ran off I saw my brother, he yelled for me through the window that he loved me and for me to keep running. As I ran with tears streaming down my face because I knew the men were going to kill him and my mom because I had escaped, I knew I had to escape and tell someone. I knew it was the only was to rescue the others. I ran into this neighborhood, I was so scared, I had never felt so much fear in my life, but I knew I had to get away. I remember I ran up to the fourth house on that street, I went in through their backdoor and started crying and asking the husband and wife in the house to please call the police, that I was a victim of human trafficking. I kept telling them to please close all of their windows and doors because I was so scared that the men were going to come and find me. I kept looking around in such a panic, wanting to hide until the police arrived but crying so hard because I knew my family was going to be killed. I had never felt such pain, I was uncontrollably crying and then I woke up.

When I woke up, I still had that fear for a second and then I realized that God had allowed me to see through a dream what the victims of human trafficking go through, what it feels like and it is horrific. I cried and begged God to please rescue those victims, to please bring justice, but at the same time I felt so helpless, God what can I do to help.

Isaiah 61:1
"The spirit of the sovereign Lord is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners."

Human trafficking is real. It's something that is happening right now all over the world. And not enough people really know that much about it. We must do something to help. There are people, victims, dying everyday while we go about living our lives unaware of their pain. I heard about Human Trafficking about two and a half years ago and have been giving to help fight it through an organization called A21 Campaign. You can help too. There is another organization that you can give to called Stop Child Trafficking Now. Both of these organizations fight against human trafficking everyday, they are rescuing victims all over the world and restoring them through the love of Jesus. You can do something. We can all give excuses as to why we can't give but honestly, what is so important that we can't give, is it our monthly pedicures, manicures, our daily Starbucks coffee, while none of these things are bad, and I'm not trying to make you feel bad for enjoying these things, they've been my excuse too, they shouldn't come before saving lives of innocent victims.

This blog is read from people all over the world. Please do something, anything, you can pray for the victims, that God would send people/organizations to rescue them, that the people who are keeping the victims hostage would turn from their ways and be saved by Jesus, that God would open your heart and your eyes to help fight this injustice in your part of the world.

We were sent to set the captives free. Join me in being their freedom.

Thank you so much.

Michelle Nicole.

Praising in the storm

"And I will praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For you are who you are
No matter where I am
And every tear I cry
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm"

Lyrics from Praise you in this storm by Casting Crowns

Since the age of 3 I had suffered from chronic migraines. My mom says she remembers me always grabbing my head and crying to her that my head hurt. It was normal for me to get a headache about 4-5 times a week. Yet at the same time what was my normal was not normal. As a child I should not have been getting headaches on the regular. My mom did not have her first headache until she was 25 years old and here I was getting them regularly from the age of 3. As the years went by the intensity of the headaches worsened. And still plagued me until about a week and a half ago.

At the end of July I went to a conference in Dallas and I remember the speaker talking about how God is our healer and how nothing is impossible for him. So that night during worship I cried out to God and begged him to please remove these migraines that had plagued me all my life, and ironically that I had at the moment I was praying for healing. And I got nothing. So I cried out again but this time I was more angry and I said, "God, I'm not leaving this worship gathering until you heal me. I refuse to leave without my healing." And still nothing. And it was at that moment that inside of me I felt, this question, God, how am I going to tell people that you're a healer if you won't even heal me? And when I thought that I broke down crying. I think a few songs went by and all I could do was cry, I couldn't say a word. And about the third song, I looked up and just said, "You know what God, even if you don't heal me, I will still trust you, and I will still tell people that you are a healer, and I will still say that you are God, even if I never get my healing, I know that you are good." And with that I calmed down, the migraine was still there but my heart was set on the fact that God was good regardless and that my healing would come, even if I didn't feel it. So, we left that night back to our hotel room and I remember rubbing my head because it hurt so bad and my mom telling me, "Michelle, don't you have any excedrin?" I literally have taken thousands of excedrin probably in my lifetime, just in the last 3 months I've gone through 2 huge bottles so this question wasn't exactly a weird question to ask because I ALWAYS carried excedrin migraine with me everywhere I went. But that night was different, I replied, "Mom, I'm done taking excedrin, that stuff is so incredibly bad for my stomach lining and I'm trusting that God will heal me." And with that I went to bed.

Now normally if I went to bed with a migraine and didn't take anything it was a 100% sure bet that I was going to wake up and the migraine was still going to be there. But that next morning it was gone. It didn't hurt one bit. And as I took a shower that morning I just remember crying tears of joy and thanking God because I knew he had healed me. No more would I have to deal with migraines, ever again.

Then yesterday came and with it a migraine. And to be honest it is now the next morning and it is still there. I've prayed and I know that God is not a man that he should lie, He healed me a week and a half ago and no matter what symptoms I feel I know that He is still my healer. Even as I type these words I feel the pain in my head but I'm trusting in Him. And I'm not gonna lie and say that the last 24 hours has been easy because it hasn't, I have thought of taking excedrin migraine because I know that it works, it has a million times in the past but I also know that God is my healer and that if his word says that "By His stripes we are healed" then I am healed. So like the song lyrics say, I will praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands for you are who you are no matter where I am. And just like in previous posts I have told many of you to not lose hope and not lose faith as you go through your trials because He is faithful, I will not lose hope and I will not lose faith that He has and will heal my head again.

Psalm 3:3-4,8 "But you are a shield around me, O Lord; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head. To the Lord I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill. From the Lord comes deliverance."

There is destiny inside of you

It's been 30 years since my mom left her country of origin, El Salvador. When she left she was leaving in a state of panic because there was a war going on between the guerrilla and the police enforcement. The guerrilla was basically trying to kill all those in politics and anything having to do with the government. The year was 1980 and my mom was studying in the university to be a lawyer. She was heavily involved in politics and because of that she and her family were targeted by the guerrilla. One night while my mother, my two uncles and my grandmother were all sleeping their house was gunned down by machine guns from all sides of the house. Someone had put a hit on her family and had paid a price in order to have my mom killed, my mom remembers seeing bullets flying through the walls and all she did was grab her two brothers and laid as still as possible on the floor. That night while my mom laid there I know that it was only the hand of God that protected them because not one single bullet touched any of them, nor did the guerrilla go inside to make sure that they had killed everyone in the house like they normally would.

The next morning my grandmother, my two uncles and my mother all started a very dangerous trek through El Salvador, then through Mexico to the United States as illegals. They paid a man to literally bring them across the border until they finally reached my great aunt's house in Houston, TX.

Tonight the Lord reminded me of that story that my mom has told me over a hundred times. He showed me how He had his hand over my mom's life because she had a destiny inside of her. She would one day give birth to two children, Carlos and Michelle. Who would then at the ages of 21 and 22 would become saved and then they would in turn touch other lives and those lives would touch other lives and so on and so forth to spread the news of Jesus. That night when those men came and gunned down my mom's house, God saw the destiny of generations to come through my mom's life and he said "no" to the enemy's plan to kill my mom. God knew that one day she would be the mom of two children who would do amazing things for God. .

Psalm 33:11 "But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations."

Inside of me, inside of you there is destiny. There are people that He has destined for you to reach, there are physical blessings that will be birthed through you and will impact this globe for Jesus one day.

So do not fear when trials come for the Lord your God has a plan that will be fulfilled through your life. 30 years ago God thought of me when those men tried to kill my destiny inside of my mom but His purposes stood firm and will continue to stand firm for generations to come.

Think of the possibilities, think of the generations that will come out of you. You were destined for so much more than you could ever think or imagine. Don't give up, don't turn around there's destiny inside of you.


Love,

Michelle

It's a heart issue

Faith is believing with your heart and not your mind. Our mind always will try and rationalize things but our heart doesn't know rationalization, it only knows what it feels. Have there ever been times in your life where you've thought, "I know this sounds crazy but I feel in my heart that God wants me to do this or do that", but really if you think about it with your mind only it sounds absolutely absurd. That's because faith comes from the heart. Faith means believing deep down inside your heart even if with your eyes you don't see it yet. It's when you have faith that God will provide financially even though your bank statement says your bank account is in the negative. It's when you have faith that God has healed you even though the doctor says otherwise, it's when you believe God has a great spouse for you while you are going through a rough season of single hood. Faith never makes sense outside of God, but with God faith makes all the difference.

This past week I went to a Spanish conference called Avivanos and it was mind-blowing. And I say that because although they didn't teach on anything I didn't already know about, they didn't show me some new scripture I hadn't already seen, it did cause a mind shift in regards to my faith. God's word is infallible, it is without void, it is and will always be true.

Luke 11:9-10 "Ask and you shall receive....for everyone who ask receives."

Galatians 6:7 "Do not be deceived; God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows."

Luke 1:37 "For nothing is impossible with God."

Like you probably, I had read these scriptures a million times, I had heard them preached over and over in my time as a Christian but I had never really taken them to heart until last week. Normally my prayer would go a little something like this:

"Jesus, I ask that you would please save my dad. Please don't let him ever die without knowing you." and then next week I would pray it again. "Please Lord save my dad, protect him, don't let him leave this earth without knowing you." Now while those prayers aren't bad they were a little bit contradictory to my supposed faith. Why did I feel like I had to plead with God? Why did I feel the need to beg him over and over and over? Because when my natural eyes wouldn't see the response I wanted I would assume he hadn't heard me and that I needed to beg him some more. And that is just plain incorrect.

But if I look at those scriptures, that are infallible and realize that His word does not lie, so if He says ask and you shall receive then if I ask God to save my dad then regardless of whether I see a change with my natural eyes or not, I trust that God has heard my prayer and that I have received my request because a.) I am His daughter and b.) His word says so. My prayer life has change dramatically and my faith has increased exponentially just by this revelation alone. I now come before God and make my requests known, I thank Him for it and wait for my natural eyes to see what has already been granted in the supernatural.

The same thing with reaping and sowing. What we sow is always going to be what He uses for us to reap from. If I sow x amount of money into an anti-human trafficking organization like a21campaign.com then it doesn't matter how much money I invest I know that I will reap a harvest because it is going towards providing justice and setting the captives free. And since that money is going towards God's plan to save this earth then I know that there's another scripture that says you can't out give God, so I know that He will in turn bless me more to be a greater blessing towards his Kingdom. His word says it so that means it will happen.

Since I received this revelation my prayer life has been completely changed. And my faith has increased beyond what I could have ever expected. Another scripture to grab a hold of is Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for your declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." He has great plans for your future and do you know when your future is? It's the next second from now, it tomorrow, it next week, it's next month. He has great plans for you, your future is not full of gloom and doom it is full of greatness. Tomorrow will be a great day! Tonight I will have great sleep because it's in my future in the next hour!

When you take these scriptures that we've all heard and truly believe them with your heart, you will never pray the same way again and you will never live your life the same way again. His word is the bread of life, consume it, devour it and keep your eyes open because it will always always always come true. God is not a man that he should lie.

Love,

Michelle

Walls

Isaiah 25: 11-12 "They will spread out their hands in it, as a swimmer spreads out their hands to swim. God will bring down their pride despite the cleverness of their hands. He will bring down your high fortified walls and lay them low; he will bring them down to the ground, to the very dust."

Walls can be something we use as a defense mechanism to "protect" us, to "guard" us but they can also be used to block you in, to hold you captive, to make you a slave. I realized not too long ago that I in fact had put up a wall, a wall around my heart and although at first it was meant to protect me it had somewhat started to box me in, to cage me. And after talking to a few girlfriends I noticed they too had in fact done the same thing. And something clicked. We are walled in, not by our enemy but by ourselves.

We have taken ourselves out of the ring because of fear. It's that mentality of, "I'm gonna put a wall up so no one ever hurts me again" but in doing so you block yourself off from living life, from experiencing greatness. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7) Yes the bible does also say to guard your heart, obviously don't go giving your heart to just anyone either, don't start dating everyone and their dog but give your heart to God, chase after Him, trust Him and ask Him to check your heart, to reveal to you those things that you haven't dealt with maybe because up until now you haven't really had to. What is it that has caused you to put up this wall? What is the root cause?

For me personally it was a confidence issue. I didn't feel confident in my own body, I wasn't happy with the way I felt, I didn't feel attractive, I didn't feel desirable, just the thought of dating someone and have them hug me or touch me freaked me out because I wasn't happy with my body. But I hadn't even realized this because for months I had put up this wall so as to not have to deal with dating. Well the question of would you be willing to go out on a date with such and such friend of mine came up recently and I panicked. I was like well why would he want to date me and then I realized whoa something is wrong, why am I even thinking this way. And it came down to a confidence issue, in order to avoid the rejection I was sure I would receive because I wasn't "fit" in my eyes I had put up a wall. And here this whole time I thought I had put up a wall just to guard my heart but once that wall was poked at I realized that wall was actually something else that was keeping me caged in. I had gone this whole time without dealing with the root of the problem. So since then I have started working on gaining my self confidence back, I started eating better, working out and asking God to help me tear the walls down. That's the thing about walls, once you see them you have a choice, will you tear them down or will you choose to remain caged. Personally, I don't want to miss out on life, on God ordained friendships and relationships because of fear and walls.

God, tear down the walls completely, show me the areas of my heart that I have allowed to be caged by fear. Help me to remain faithful to eating good and working out not because I need to be a certain size to fit with what society says women should look like but so that I can feel comfortable in my own skin and be healthy. Amen.

While I didn't actually end up going on the date with the guy my friend was trying to set me up with, I am glad that the situation poked at a wall that had actually become a cage and in doing so it has better prepared me for when God does bring that God-ordained relationship into my life. Thank you Jesus!

Love, Michelle.


Is there anything that has caged you in? Do you need to allow Him to tear down the walls?

Free

God is so beyond faithful. During the last 13 months I have been walking out a long process of forgiveness, restoration, and freedom. And today was the day He showed me I am finally done, I am free! Although I knew I was free the first day I turned to God and said, "God help me", it wasn't until today that I finally felt free. Healing is a process that has various stages, and during all of this I remember so many times thinking, God am I ever going to get over this, is this ever going to stop hurting, am I ever going to be able to let go? And I can without a shadow of a doubt say...YES, it has all gone away. I don't hurt anymore at all. I am brand-new, I am healed and it feels soooo incredibly good.

Jesus, I could never repay you for what you've done for me, for setting me free, for restoring me, for forgiving me, for making me new, for giving me the strength to not stop trusting you. And there were so many times as I was walking out this season that I would get so frustrated, I would feel like I am not making any progress, I would look back to the past and drag the pain out even longer and it would cause the pain to hurt even more but through it all I kept trusting Him. And some days that looked like me crying on my bedroom floor and praying that He would take it all away and other days it was me making decisions to not go here or not go there, to delete my facebook page, to cut friendships out of my life and just trust that He was in control; Taking one step after another. I remember having a conversation with one of my girlfriends and saying, this sucks while I'm walking through it and I just can't wait to be at that point where it doesn't hurt anymore but will that ever happen? And how will I know? And then today happened, today was when He showed me that I was in fact done. Done with this season. Done with it all.

I.AM.FREE.

And I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it wasn't because of anything I did, it wasn't because I'm so holy or because I pray for hours at a time, or because I'm some sort of perfect saint but because I cried out to my Father and He answered me. All because He loves me. And because He is good.

I'm free and it feels amazing. Thank you Jesus! You are faithful, You are healer, You are true, You are my everything and I am so beyond thankful.

He will do it for you too. Just don't give up no matter how hard it gets, keep trusting and keep moving forward even if it's baby steps. He is faithful.

Psalm 33:4 For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does.

Michelle

A picture is worth a thousand words

At any given moment if you were to take a snapshot of my life currently, as it is now, it would be a representation of a culmination of things. The person I am now is made up of a lot of life experiences. It's made up of the wisdom I have learned from life. Wisdom defined is what is learned through costly experience. I have had a lot of costly experiences in my life but they all have shaped me and formed me into who I am now. At the women's conference Holly Wagner talked about the movie Karate Kid, the old one not the new remixed one lol But in the old one Mr. Miagi taught daniel son how to do karate by means of some creative tasks. For example wax on, wax off, the motion of rubbing wax onto a car, then painting up and down a fence for hours, basically at the time daniel son was getting so fed up because here he thought he was going to be taught Karate yet to the naked eye it looked like all he was having him do was chores. But then at the right moment Mr. Miagi threw a couple moves towards daniel and surprisingly he was prepared and able to block the moves. Why? Because in doing all the "chores", Mr. Miagi had taught him the basic moves of Karate. The same goes in life, the experiences we face are all pieces that God uses to prepare us for things that will come our way in life, whether they be good or bad.

If you're around me for like two seconds you will realize I love to laugh, and I laugh loud. But that laugh is full of so much joy and was birthed out of a lot of years of silence, a lot of years of being the shy kid that now even though at times I may like to be quiet I actually love love love to laugh. There are so many times at work when my co-workers will pop in and just make me laugh so hard that I swear the entire company can hear me but I love it. This joy that I have is something that God has given me. He has brought so much beauty from the ashes that once were my life.

Then there's this patience that He has blessed me with. I haven't always been patient, believe me but during various season of waiting whether it be for a job, a loved one to get saved, a new car, an answer to prayer or for my husband, He has taught me the power of patience. And it's funny because in my career dealing with all sorts of employee relations I have to have patience and it now comes very natural for me but it's all stemmed from life experiences.

Wisdom, the what not to do's of life, wow, all I can say is I have definitely learned a lot about wisdom from making some very poor choices. I now know how not to live your teenage life, how not to waste your time, how not to have a christian relationship, how not to treat my friends, how not to lessen pain with substances, how not to dress (this goes way back to my funky high school days hahaha) and so on. But even with all those crazy experiences it has only taught me how to do life better and it has given me so much insight to share with others that might be walking down some of the same paths that I once walked down.

And then there is this relationship which connects all the pieces together...my relationship with my saviour. And that happened through a lot of prayer by my prayer warrior mama, by a divine appointment and an incredible revelation of His love for me. It's this love that has turned my whole world around.

He has ordained all the days of my life and He has written my story out beyond the point I am at now. But honestly in the grand scheme of things my life isn't only about the here and now, here on earth, it's about so much more, it's about the eternal. The story of my life on earth is only a small piece of the bigger picture.

And that grand picture, the one that I have yet to see completely, now that picture is worth so much more than a thousand words.

Singleness

So I've been single for about a year now God and while I know you haven't forgot about me there are times when it's hard. Just being honest.

But then at the same times there are times when I truly love being single. This past week I spent 5 days in California, 3 of which were at this amazing women's conference called Godchicks where I was introduced to the incredible teaching of Priscilla Shirer. Tonight I was looking on her blog site and stumbled upon some of her teachings/interviews about single hood and was so encouraged. Being single isn't something that one is called to, so even though at times I remind God, "um so I'm getting older Jesus and there's seriously no prospects around...at all! How is this going to happen?" he only has me single for a season. Jesus likes to work in seasons, there have been seasons in my life where it was hard, for example when I graduated college at the top 25% of my class, double-major and yet couldn't find a real job for 4 years, that was a really tough season but it was exactly that...a season. And after 4 years of waiting on God, He gave me the most amazing job ever, something that I would have never thought I would love but I totally do and I'm seriously blessed to work with some of the most humble, selfless, loving people ever!

I know me being single is just for a season and some days I'm okay with that but somedays its hard, I get lonely, I miss the affection that occurs in a relationship and the feeling of having your best friend who adores you. But most days, I just remind myself that this is a season, and in the current season I'm in I have the amazing opportunity to spend my time how I want, whether that be working out, spending time with my girlfriends, watching chick flicks, flying around the country to visit loved ones, friends or going to encouraging women's conferences like Godchicks.

Everything is about perspective, I can either look at this season as lonely because I'm not in a relationship or I can look at it as me being fortunate to have all my time to spend with those I love and loving on my savior. Priscilla in her blog said, "don't think that being married isn't hard, it's hard just like singleness is hard but it's a different kind of hard, especially once kid's come into the picture." So if you're reading this and you're single know that this is just for a season. Don't lower your standards, keep trusting God, be open to dating (this is more a reminder for me because well dating doesn't mean what the world says, but it's being open to getting to know people better, not being afraid) and enjoy where you are at currently because this season will pass and you don't want to miss out on great opportunities.

When I was looking for a job I had my sights set on what I wanted and honestly looking back, if God would have given me what I wanted I would not be as happy and fulfilled as I am currently. He is faithful. And I know that He wants what's best in all areas of my life. I will not settle, I will not bend, I will not believe what society says or thinks, I will not shrink to accommodate for anyone, I will be me, I will be the daughter that He has called me to be, the amazing woman that He has formed me to be, I will believe what He says about me and I will wait for my confident, Jesus adoring, whole, loving, serving, strong, incredibly anointed, passionate, humble man to come into my life.



Michelle

P.S. Check out this awesome song, I'm loving it!

Unshaken

His word says He is the same yesterday, today and forever. That He is faithful, that He has good plans for those who love Him. But He also warns us that in this world we will have trouble, but not to worry because He has overcome the world. His word also reminds us that when hard times come we are to stand, stand firm in fact, stand on His promises, stand on His character, stand on what His word says. Just because bad things happen it doesn't mean that He isn't on the throne, that He can't turn things around, that He isn't who He says He is.

God is God regardless of whatever obstacles come in my life. God is still God when I hurt. God is still God when the plans that I thought would happen don't happen. God is still God when the doctor says you have cancer, God is still God when your parents decide to divorce, God is still God when your best friend stabs you in the back, God is still God when you lose your job, God is still God when your baby dies upon birth from complications, God is still God when the man of your dreams moves on to another. God is still God no matter what the storm is, no matter how it looks, God is still God.

Today I found out some news that normally would have rocked me to the core, would have devastated me but in that moment when all sorts of thoughts were swirling in my head I heard this...I am still God no matter the circumstance. And I received so much comfort from that because it's true. He is in control of my life and His plans are always better than mine and no matter how it looks now He is more than able to turn things around.

So while in the past I would have been a mess, I probably would have gotten drunk to numb the pain, I rested in my God, the God who loves me beyond measure, the God who never lets me go, the God who gives me peace that surpasses all understanding, the God who not only comforts me but empowers me to actually be joyful in this moment. I am not shaken, this situation doesn't have control over me, I am still the same girl I was this morning before I found out the news, I am still the daughter of the King of Kings, I am still completely and wholly His.

Things happen. Life happens. But if you trust in Him above all, those things which were meant to hurt you, to destroy you will leave you unshaken.

Michelle

Growth

Jesus,

You are my creator, you designed me, you understand me, you see the areas of lack in me, and you know how to mold me and shape me to perfection. You know when to say no in certain seasons to cause me to grow. You know when to say yes and push me to do things that I would have never thought I could do. You know when to prune me, when to remove people from my life and then when to bring others into my life. You know when I need a break and when I'm ready for the next level. You know me. And you know me better than I know myself.

During this season I am open. My desire is to grow. To be prepared for what you have in store ahead. One area where I need your help is communication. Show me when to speak, how to speak, give me courage. Teach me. Lord, I would also like a mentor. A woman that has walked the path that you have me on, a woman that can encourage me, that will push me and that will pray for me. Lord, I know you have put this desire in my heart for a reason because you have more for me, but that requires greater preparation and closer walk with you.

Lord I want to be like the five virgins in the bible who had the oil, who were prepared for the bridegroom. Not like the five foolish virgins who didn't have oil and were therefore shut out of the wedding banquet.

Matthew 25:10 "But while they were on their way to buy the oil, the bridegroom arrived. The virgins who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet. And the door was shut."

I want to be prepared for the plan you have for my life. Fine tune me Lord. I need you.

Water my thirsty soul. Refresh me. Clean my heart.

When I begin to boast because I'm not where I used to be, remind me of the journey, remind me that my path still lies ahead. I have not arrived at the end destination yet, this is only the beginning.

My husband lies ahead, my babies lie ahead, souls to be reached lie ahead, rescued trafficked victims lie ahead, women that I will encourage lie ahead. Help me to not veer off the path but to reach those whom you have in store for me to do life with.

I love you Jesus. And I love the journey, the view is great from here.





Michelle Nicole

Arise

Isaiah 60: 1-2 "Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you. See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the Lord rises upon you and His glory appears over you."

Arise: get up, come into being, move upward. Arise from your day to day life, arise from the routine-ness of life, arise out of the things that weigh you down, arise from the stress, arise from the worry, arise from your doubt. Arise! There are so many things in this world that will try and get us down, that will try and steal our focus, our energy and get us distracted. As the scripture says, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, arise from self, from your own world and let His glory shine through you. As I read this I felt the Lord saying, get out of your world and into mine, let me shine through you to remove the darkness in the lives of those around you.

As of late I have grown to literally hate mindless chatter. The surface level conversations bore me and seriously annoy me. My desire is to know my friends better, to know their hearts, their desires, their dreams, their hurts. I could care less about the surface level things. I want to get in their world. I want to shine His light in their world. And I will admit I don't always do a great job of shining His light but I try my hardest to chip away at the surface level junk and get to the heart. I love hearing about my friends dreams, it inspires me and shows me how to encourage them, how to pray for them. Because all the people that come into my life are seriously amazing in their own way. And they have passions that the Lord has put in them that for one reason or another at times has been either put out by others or seriously tamed by the world. But Jesus put these dreams, desires, passions in our lives for a reason. We are to shine His light into the world. Shine literally means to be bright, to reflect light, to glow, to be distinguished.

When I ask my friends what their dreams are, what their passions are, they literally light up. Their whole expression changes, they get so excited, they smile, it's crazy but they really do SHINE.

You were created to shine. Jesus, created us all for a purpose, to remove the darkness and shine His light. And you were created to do that by just being you. Whatever your dreams are, do it! Reach them. He put them in there for a reason, because you will ROCK at them.

Arise, dust off the heaviness of this world, and shine His light!

Rooting for you,

Michelle Nicole