Bigger than myself

Jesus,

I have a dream in my heart that is bigger than me. A dream that was implanted in my heart before the beginning of time. You wrote this dream in the story of my life. You created me with this dream in mind and laid out the plan for my life to fulfill that dream.

Psalm 139:16 "Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

It's a dream that I could have never created on my own, nor will I ever accomplish it on my own. But it's not up to me to make it happen, it's only up to me to be willing and available to Your will. I remember the day you revealed this dream to me, this amazing plan, this incredible blessing.

It was 2006, I was 23 years old and doing Master's Commission. It was late afternoon, I was laying in bed, reading my bible and journaling and praying when all of a sudden it was like I was watching a movie. You revealed to me every intricate detail of this dream in my heart and in my mind. My degree all of a sudden made sense. The ministry that I was serving in all of a sudden made sense. It was like this huge a-ha moment for me. You the creator of the universe had revealed to me the dreams of your heart that you had created for me to accomplish on this earth.

It's now been 3 years since that dream and while I'm no where near accomplishing my dream I understand that it's a process. It's so much bigger than me. And while I don't know when it will come to pass, and I definitely don't know how since well, I don't have the resources for it, I know that in your timing it will happen.

Mother of Nations, that was a word that was spoken over my life a long time ago.

Mother literally means a woman who holds a position of authority or responsibility, a female that creates, nurtures and protects.

That's huge God. Huge. And that's not even the dream. It's the authority and responsiblity you have given me to accomplish the dream. God, make me a woman that can handle the dream you have placed in my heart.

Make me mother to those around me that need me. That I would nurture and encourage the broken around me. That I would protect those who the enemy is trying to devour. Lord, you have given me authority to trample the enemy.

Luke 10:19 "I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you."

The dream is bigger than me. But it's not bigger than the dream-giver. Nothing happens in just one day, dreams are a process. Let me not lose hope during the process. Surround me with people who will encourage me along the process and who will stand up next to me and pray for me when I get weak. Open my heart and make it responsive to your word, to the strengthening word of those around me who you have entrusted me to. Never let me want to go my own way. Never let me think that this is done by my hand. But by You and You alone Jesus.

Prepare me. Rip my heart wide open and clean it. Remove pride, doubt, fear. Break me. And break anything in me that would stand in your way.

I trust you.

Amen.

Michelle Nicole