Forgiveness

Forgiveness isn't easy. Forgiveness isn't something that comes natural. The world conditions us to think that revenge, holding a grudge, having unforgiveness is just. That by you forgiving someone you're basically saying that what that person did was okay. When someone hurts you it's not just, it's not okay but that doesn't ever give you the right to not forgive.

Luke 6:37 "Forgive and you will be forgiven."

There are so many times where I have needed forgiveness and Jesus has always given it so freely. Even the times when I knew better, where the sin was very intentional, He still forgave me. Yet when it comes to other people hurting us, choosing to forgive can be so incredibly hard. My blog friend Sarah Markely twittered this today: "Forgiveness is a lifestyle." And it really made me think. She's right, forgiveness is a lifestyle. It's not something that we can do sometimes or only under certain circumstances, no it's something that needs to be so ingrained that it's second nature to forgive. Second nature to think the best, to not allow someone else's choices and decisions to control your life. People will let you down, we're human and humans are not perfect at all but if you choose to be a person that forgives easily you'll find that disappointments aren't that bad. You extend grace to others, you have peace. Nothing really shakes you.

Last year was literally one of the hardest years of my life. There were times when I felt like my life was over, my joy was never going to come back. I was full of so much hurt, resentment and anger for a long time. And I actually felt like I was justified in thinking that way. I didn't want to forgive. I was mad at God because I felt like He wasn't helping me, like He had lied to me, I was mad at people who I felt had caused me this hurt, this pain. It took me about 8 months to finally forgive. And it wasn't easy. I found myself having to forgive the people that hurt me everyday, over and over in my head because thoughts would come back and I'd get angry all over again. I would find out something and it would hurt me all over again and I'd get angry. And then I'd cry and ask God to help me, I'd tell him I didn't want to be bitter, I wanted to be free, I wanted to be happy again and all I would hear is forgive. Forgiveness is a choice. You can choose to be bitter or you can choose to forgive.

Deuteronomy 30:19 "This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live."

Choose life. It's a choice. In the bible it talks about Bathsheba. Bathsheba was married to Uriah and while he was at war, King David saw Bathsheba bathing on her rooftop and felt that he had to have her. So he sent his guards to get her and he slept with her and got her pregnant. Then to top things off he had her husband killed in order to cover up his sin and then after that her son, the one that she was pregnant with was born but died shortly there after. All this happened in the span of a year or two. So if anyone had the right to be angry, to have unforgiveness it would be Bathsheba. Angry at David, angry at God, angry at the situation that was brought upon her, the hand that was dealt to her. She hadn't asked for this to happen to her, she hadn't sought out the king. Yet she trusted God, she cried out to Him and she forgave. She raised her son Solomon to love the Lord, she loved the Lord with all her heart and she served King David as her husband. She didn't harbor bitterness or unforgiveness. It is said that the Proverbs 31 woman was written by Solomon about Bathsheba.

Proverbs 31:29-31 "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."

Bathsheba made the choice to forgive. She choose to allow God to work through the circumstances in her life, to make her stronger, to increase her faith, to bring Him glory. Her story is told now over 2000 years later because of the lifestyle of forgiveness that she lived.

After I made the decision to forgive those who had hurt me, He healed my heart, my hurts and restored my joy. Restored my peace. Restored my hope. He restored my ability to love. I can now see those that hurt me and see them through eyes of forgiveness. And it feels so good. I have peace that is unshaken. I have love for them. I can genuinely desire nothing but the best for them.

Through that season of "death" He brought me out of it so much stronger. I can look back on that time in my life and be thankful because it caused me to grow, to change, to rest in Him and be found in Him. And I know for a fact that had I not forgiven, I would still be in that valley of death now.

He is faithful, when we forgive, He will move on our behalf. He will restore all that was lost and some. I have more peace now that I ever have. I have more joy than I ever have. I laugh more, I live passionately. I extend mercy and grace when in the past I would have written people off and harbored unforgiveness.

Forgiveness is never about the other person, it's about you. I realized just because you don't forgive someone it doesn't cause that person to feel pain, it doesn't cause them to all of a sudden stop hurting you(if anything that usually increases), it doesn't hold them back. It affects you and you alone. And worst of all, it separates you from God. Choose to forgive and trust that no matter what, no matter how bad it hurts, God is still God and He is still in control. He fights for you. Although the battle rages, it's not your battle, it's His. Unforgiveness says I'm in control but forgiveness says He's in control.

Forgiveness is not only a lifestyle...it's MY lifestyle.

Thank you Jesus! I love you!

Michelle Nicole.